# Ass ripper?



## Extremo (Nov 6, 2008)

How many of you have ever landed on your ass and it felt like it was ripped open leaving you with the feeling, at least for a few minutes, that your butthole was certainly bleeding?

I've played most school sports since I was 8 yrs old and have ridden bmx and skated since I can remember and I have never had an experience like this until I was on a snowboard. And it's happened multiple times. I always make sure I ask people this when we go onn road trips and sometimes people know exactly what I'm talking about while other's look at me like I have 3 heads.


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## j.gnar (Sep 4, 2009)

definitely know what youre talking about dude, and it isnt fun and games


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## Ezkimo (Apr 2, 2008)

Haha yeah alllways happens to my buddy, he is always tearin his b hole. Never happened to me though, maybe cuz im always going so big my b hole is puckered up

:laugh::laugh:


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## Qball (Jun 22, 2010)

Oh yes it has got to be one the worst feelings ever. I was riding at night one time and it was pretty icy, I was hauling ass when I hit some solid ice, my heel edge scraped out and I landed directly on my ass. Thought for sure I was bleeding and felt like puking cause it hurt so bad haha


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## john doe (Nov 6, 2009)

Never while snowboarding but have had it happen a bunch while rollerblading. The worst is the ass rip and ball slap combo.


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## pontiuspylate (Oct 7, 2010)

"It sucks" is an understatement!!!!


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## NYCboarder (Jan 26, 2008)

Oh my gosh. I always check to make sure I'm not bleeding. Its so unpleasant. I just cringed when I thought about it


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## ShredLife (Feb 6, 2010)

oh yea - when one ass cheek lands, and the rest of you keeps going...

i've also overshot to flat, breaking my tailbone right above my buttcrack... it swoll up so much that the skin split from the swelling, and it looked like i had an extra inch and a half of asscrack.

a buddy ripped his sack open trying steezy frontside flips on a skateboard too...


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## Justin (Jun 2, 2010)

lol so disturbing. The worst is def falling on the middle bar of your bike when ur a kid and are no where near being able to touch the ground with both feet and not mash that whole region of ur body.


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## JeffreyCH (Nov 21, 2009)

HAHAHAHA no but I have had the infamous lake enema more then once. Slip out heelside on a wakeboard and you will know what I'm talkin bout


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## baldylox (Dec 27, 2007)

Oh yea! When you're laying on the snow sure that your ass actually exploded. I'd be afraid to get up cause I thought the snow would be red.


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## plagtr2 (Oct 13, 2010)

Worst for me was not exactly a "ripper"--more of an "ass-kicker". Cased a transition in flat light FLYING. Kinda icy, so the ground was HARD. Right on my ass. BAM. Swear I saw stars I hit so hard. Had to sit there for a few & get my bearings. Had a nice bruise on my lower back/ass. Good times!


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## oneshot (Oct 8, 2010)

if you're not ripping your asshole open you're not living..


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## Muki (Feb 8, 2010)

Lol the therad title is completely misleading


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## Dano (Sep 16, 2009)

I broke my tailbone at Kicking Horse and it felt like my ass was on fire (it was on Sunday morning so the 7 hr drive home was especially shite), but I can't say I've "ripped my ass" :dunno:


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## MunkySpunk (Jan 7, 2009)

It sucks hard. You hit the ice and it tingles for just a second, then the pain hits you, and your ass gets REALLY warm. It feels like someone used a sledgehammer to break a hot water filled whoopee cushion on your ass. You don't know if you shit yourself or you're bleeding. Thankfully it's always been neither for me, but damn if it doesn't feel like it so much that I go and check every time. :laugh:

Always got a nice purple ass for a couple weeks after that too.


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## Deviant (Dec 22, 2009)

Dano said:


> I broke my tailbone at Kicking Horse and it felt like my ass was on fire (it was on Sunday morning so the 7 hr drive home was especially shite), but I can't say I've "ripped my ass" :dunno:


Broke mine a long time ago too, the worst was trying to walk up a flight of stairs, took forever


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## NWBoarder (Jan 10, 2010)

I'm pretty sure that most of us have been there at least once when it comes to the ass-ripper. The best though is when you're on the lift and you spot the guy checking his drawers cause you KNOW he just got his ripped! Lol!


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## bubbachubba340 (Feb 10, 2009)

I did this about 5 times this last year. The worst one was when I overshot about a 30 foot jump on a backside 180 and caught an edge in the slush. I actually had to stop on the side of the run and just lay there for a minute. I definately checked for blood:laugh:


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## Irish2685 (Dec 27, 2009)

I had one about 25 seconds in to my first trip snowboarding ever... I kept going, and now I'm alright at it, and haven't experienced one in a while.


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## jegnorge (Feb 15, 2010)

no one bothered to wear ass pads? maybe some of you enjoy the ass bounding lol


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## Qball (Jun 22, 2010)

Never worn them. You're not having fun if there's no pain!


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## Karaca86 (May 5, 2010)

haha me no.. but my buddy Ryan Paris was telling me of the time he landed a 14ft drop on his ass so badly that his tailbone actually punctured all the way through his skin looked like he literally got shot in the ass. Said it was the worst pain he's ever experienced. Oh my god it grosses me out even thinking about it.


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## Karaca86 (May 5, 2010)

Qball said:


> Never worn them. You're not having fun if there's no pain!


My mom always says
"No pain, No gain." 
:laugh:


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## jegnorge (Feb 15, 2010)

Qball said:


> Never worn them. You're not having fun if there's no pain!


riiiiiight. whenever there's an injury the body needs down time to heal. so when you're home recovering from splitting your ass in half, i'm on the slopes practising double corks in the air bag.


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## Qball (Jun 22, 2010)

We're not talking about actually splitting your ass in half, thats just what it feels like.


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## HoboMaster (May 16, 2010)

I'm guessing your talking about the spot right above your crack, the spinal/tailbone cracker. I've done a lot of those...the worst scenario is when you land shitty off a jump and your board kicks out and you fall on your ass.

I fell on my ass several days ago after slipping on a steep mossy hill. Strangely when I hit my tailbone all the shock went up my spine and up to my head, so I got a headache the rest of the day, no ass-pain though.


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## jegnorge (Feb 15, 2010)

HoboMaster said:


> I'm guessing your talking about the spot right above your crack, the spinal/tailbone cracker. I've done a lot of those...the worst scenario is when you land shitty off a jump and your board kicks out and you fall on your ass.
> 
> I fell on my ass several days ago after slipping on a steep mossy hill. Strangely when I hit my tailbone all the shock went up my spine and up to my head, so I got a headache the rest of the day, no ass-pain though.


shock thru the vertebrae all the way to the c spine. damn...


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## roremc (Oct 25, 2009)

Ass rips are the worst. I've had a couple where I thought I would need the ski patrol for sure! 

Great thread! lol


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## jegnorge (Feb 15, 2010)

roremc said:


> Ass rips are the worst. I've had a couple where I thought I would need the ski patrol for sure!
> 
> Great thread! lol


hey is that your husky in your avatar? very cute. got more pics online somewhere?


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## KIRKRIDER (Mar 18, 2008)

I was bombing, came out on top of a mogul on my heel edge and found a glass like sheet of ice...BAM! Ass rip...sitting 3 minutes in pain on the edge of the run. Nerver again. A Hard plastic shield makes me bounce off and laugh when that happens. Never again bro!


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## Tauwolf (Oct 12, 2010)

Yup, felt it last season for the first time. Never really knew what my friends were talking about till then. Kinda wish I was still in the dark on that one haha.....

I still cringe when I think about it


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## Sam I Am (Sep 9, 2009)

When I first started reading this thread, I thought people were talking about getting ass raped.......:dunno:


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## JRosco (Sep 27, 2010)

Holy Spaghetti Monster that hurts!! And you'r right, it definitely feels like your asshole did rip apart, its a horrible pain!!  Im sure at some point thats going to happen this season, and Im not looking forward to it, lets just hope Im doing something cool, or attempting to when it does!


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## Suzysofl (Dec 31, 2019)

G


Extremo said:


> How many of you have ever landed on your ass and it felt like it was ripped open leaving you with the feeling, at least for a few minutes, that your butthole was certainly bleeding?
> 
> I've played most school sports since I was 8 yrs old and have ridden bmx and skated since I can remember and I have never had an experience like this until I was on a snowboard. And it's happened multiple times. I always make sure I ask people this when we go onn road trips and sometimes people know exactly what I'm talking about while other's look at me like I have 3 heads.


Omg! This just happened to me in Utah! At the end of my run, before getting on the lift I was trying to come out of my bindings and I lost my balance and fell directly on my right butt cheek. I told my husband that it felt like I pooped my pants a little bit and that my actual butthole hurt from the fall. Later that night and for the last several days I've had some issues with butt bleeding. This is no joke!


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## SkunkonToast (Dec 19, 2017)

Dude this is making me feel that pain just reading about it.
A buddy of mine (not whilst snowboarding) was crossing a small plank like bridge over a stream just in front of me. Suddenly he hits a slick spot and both feet slide out in front of him, throwing his arse rocketing towards the solid wooden bridge. I think the impact must have spread his cheeks hard and fast, leading to about an inch and a half split in the crevasse just above his brown eye. He did the familiar check only for him find he was pissing out blood from his bum. That was nasty and has made the fear that the bleeding is real when I fall all too real.


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## Donutz (May 12, 2010)

Lot of necros the last week or two. But at least this one is still, as always, relevant.

Get padded shorts. These are fine for general riding around.


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## wrathfuldeity (Oct 5, 2007)

Guess zombies are funny.


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## ridethecliche (Feb 27, 2019)

This thread bump is bizarre. Just trying to figure out what circumstances would lead someone to find this thread and talk about their asshole bleeding as a first post without their being a total troll or spam.

That said... I bought a pair of padded shorts on amazon. They barely fit under my bibs because of all the padding and I don't wear them super often. But if it's icy out, I'm sure as hell putting them on. Aka, they go on often here on the ice coast.


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## Donutz (May 12, 2010)

ridethecliche said:


> This thread bump is bizarre. Just trying to figure out what circumstances would lead someone to find this thread and talk about their asshole bleeding as a first post without their being a total troll or spam.


Generally, a new user won't use the "latest posts" click, because usually it's empty the first time you're on. Instead they'll pull up some subforums and page through the threads, looking for something interesting. It's not hard to miss the date on the thread. Once they've been on a time or two, the "latest posts" click populates for them.


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## Manicmouse (Apr 7, 2014)

At least I finally voted. Ouch! ?


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## Donutz (May 12, 2010)

I got my board knocked out from under me getting off the chair on Seymour a couple of years back. Did a tail-bone plant that was sore for the rest of the season. Since then I always wear the shorts.


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## Jkb818 (Sep 28, 2019)

Thought this was a post about porn... ??‍♂


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## ridethecliche (Feb 27, 2019)

Just like that other thread about butt plugs


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## ridethecliche (Feb 27, 2019)

Donutz said:


> Generally, a new user won't use the "latest posts" click, because usually it's empty the first time you're on. Instead they'll pull up some subforums and page through the threads, looking for something interesting. It's not hard to miss the date on the thread. Once they've been on a time or two, the "latest posts" click populates for them.


My cynical take was that a rando googles ish about what they're trying to sell and find a random forum with a post about it and reply there without looking at the dates.


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## chomps1211 (Mar 30, 2011)

I have Hemorrhoids!! _ I WAKE UP_ feeling like *that!! *_ (...Izzat TMI?) ?‍♂??_


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## jickx09 (Apr 26, 2019)

I can totally relate to this. Just a few weeks ago, I fell so hard on the slope that I had to lie there for a few mins. The pain was so strong that I thought my muscles down there would just let go. Fortunately they did not because it would have been a bummer to leave the slope with a brown trace.


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## Yeahti87 (Jan 17, 2019)

Jkb818 said:


> Thought this was a post about porn... ??‍♂


Thought the same. A decade old post gets resurrected by a hot profile pic girl reporting her ass being ripped during a snowboard trip. A nice script ?

And the crash pants don’t help, the butthole is not protected by the tail bone protector...


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## Extremo (Nov 6, 2008)

Suzysofl said:


> G
> 
> Omg! This just happened to me in Utah! At the end of my run, before getting on the lift I was trying to come out of my bindings and I lost my balance and fell directly on my right butt cheek. I told my husband that it felt like I pooped my pants a little bit and that my actual butthole hurt from the fall. Later that night and for the last several days I've had some issues with butt bleeding. This is no joke!


I'm glad some good ass rips are still happening after all these years.


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## freshy (Nov 18, 2009)

I still remember an interview in a snowboard mag from the 90's where someone dropped a cliff and the impact caused their legs to compress so hard that one of the guys high backs went right in and ripped open his hoop. I have the thought before every cliff I've dropped since.


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## Crusty (Nov 8, 2018)

One spring years ago word spread through town that _insert random locals name_ was throwing all his gear in the dumpster from his second floor apartment. Turns out he fell in the woods, landed on a sampling cut at an angle and it went through his ass cheek into his rectum. (almost killed him hardy har har. but srsly). He literally tore himself a new asshole. Once he was out of the hospital he quit the sport and threw all his shit away.

Since we're being all cringy an' shit.


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## Snow Hound (Jul 21, 2012)

Suzysofl said:


> G
> 
> Omg! This just happened to me in Utah! At the end of my run, before getting on the lift I was trying to come out of my bindings and I lost my balance and fell directly on my right butt cheek. I told my husband that it felt like I pooped my pants a little bit and that my actual butthole hurt from the fall. Later that night and for the last several days I've had some issues with butt bleeding. This is no joke!


I'm happy to fully inspect for any permanent damage and apply soothing tongue pressure as required.

Cringy shit? I got your back.


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## chomps1211 (Mar 30, 2011)

Many here have seen this clip before,.. for those of you who are new(ish). Welcome to my shame...?






When this little pink missle of a grom skier smashed into me, she hit me *square* in the butthole with her helmet. ?

It felt like she got it about 2/3rds inserted before bouncing off & flying past me. 

Fortunately for both of us,.. nobody was seriously injured. ????


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## muzzyahoy (Nov 19, 2016)

freshy said:


> I still remember an interview in a snowboard mag from the 90's where someone dropped a cliff and the impact caused their legs to compress so hard that one of the guys high backs went right in and ripped open his hoop. I have the thought before every cliff I've dropped since.


I remember a similar thing, an article in Australian Snowboarder Mag, circa '97. they used to have a "send in pics of your worst injuries" section. Guy caught his edge dropping a cliff, got off balance, landed right on a rock. Created a second arsehole about 5 times the size of the original one!!!...... That would be a shitty day, pun intended.
Same thing though, I see that image everytime I drop a cliff.


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## freshy (Nov 18, 2009)

chomps1211 said:


> Many here have seen this clip before,.. for those of you who are new(ish). Welcome to my shame...?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I've never seen that, but it's pretty damn funny. 2/3rds in lol


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## muzzyahoy (Nov 19, 2016)

freshy said:


> I've never seen that, but it's pretty damn funny. 2/3rds in lol


No worse feeling than feeling like you just accidentally killed a small child


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## Scalpelman (Dec 5, 2017)

muzzyahoy said:


> No worse feeling than feeling like you just accidentally killed a small child


No kidding. I came upon a major log jam and hit the brakes. Tried to low speed slalom but bumped an out of control 5yo sweetie. She was unharmed. But can’t imagine how bad I would feel about plowing into a 40lb kid at high speed.


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## Donutz (May 12, 2010)

Scalpelman said:


> No kidding. I came upon a major log jam and hit the brakes. Tried to low speed slalom but bumped an out of control 5yo sweetie. She was unharmed. But can’t imagine how bad I would feel about plowing into a 40lb kid at high speed.


It's friggin' amazing how they can have no skills whatsoever, yet they can change direction on a dime with no telegraphing at all.


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## freshy (Nov 18, 2009)

muzzyahoy said:


> No worse feeling than feeling like you just accidentally killed a small child


Not snowboard related, but when I was like 12 our big sledding hill was sheer ice at one point and my friend and I were sliding down pretty fast with just snow pants on our butts. I could see a 5 year old kid running without a care or noticing me across the hill near the bottom and could tell our tragectories were going to intersect soon. I thought it would be worse if I stayed low and took the kids legs out so I tried to jump over the kid. I just destroyed the poor kid right in front of his dad. I don't remember his dad being mad but I sure felt really bad about it.


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