# Life changing decision: looking for advice



## threej21 (Jan 2, 2011)

Hello all, ive got a big decision approaching in my life, and theres variables that lean me each way on the decision and im just looking for some feedback and possibly different views than mine that might help me decide...

so here it is.....im 28 yrs old, happily married 5 years, with no children. I have a decent job that makes decent pay and a schedule that works GREAT for me and my snowboarding/wakeboarding, and oh yea, the wife works the same schedule as me and LOVES snowboarding/wakeboarding as well... at this point, its no career, just a job that gives me the necessary money to live a pretty fun life, which im fine with...never been an overworker that dedicates my life to working, more just a way to make money and live...i have a mixed schedule with my off days being during the week, which is awesome for snowboarding/wakeboarding for many reasons, mainly being butter water on lake, and no lift lines at mountain. I rarely work 40 hrs, usually around 35, and my job is not very stressfull and fairly easy for me....
this is how its been for about the last 6-8 years, and other than money being a lil tight every now and then, i have no complaints.

and heres the dilemma...

my boss will be leaving my company within the next 90 days, and im next in line to take his spot. If i were to take the promotion that is coming, i would obviously see a nice pay upgrade (around 12-15K more year), but i would also be working about 45-50 hrs a week, mon-fri...and while this schedule is very normal for most people, it would completely turn my life upside down compared to the schedule ive been working for 6-8 years. and the stress/responsibilities of my work would also increase greatly..basically id be the big boss with about 65 people underneath me....


sooooooo, if this was you, what would you do??

stay in a nice easy, cushy job with so so pay and a great schedule for the life i live, and maybe always regret not taking more money to help myself and my wife (possibly family in the future)

or

finally grow up a little, take the promotion, intrude on my snowboarding/wakeboarding, make some good money, prolly have a shitty year until i get used to it all...and maybe in the long run be happy i did...or it could also lead to hating it, having to leave this company all together, and not be sure where ill end up or what my schedule/pay would be at some other job



know its a long post, and know its my life and my decision. just wanted to hear some advice from some older guys or people that were maybe in a similar situation....

if you read it all, thanks, and look forward to your feedback


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## HoboMaster (May 16, 2010)

Contrary to popular American belief, making more money does not necessarily make your life happier/better. I am a firm believer in pursuing what you enjoy and what makes you happy, regardless of what pay it comes with. If you are not struggling to make ends meet, I would suggest sticking with what you've got - because according to you it provides you with the means to be happy.

People end up taking the high-paying high-position job because they think they need it and the money (not because they really enjoy the position), and then 10 years pass and they have a mid-life crisis because they realize they threw away what they loved so they could own more Ikea furniture. (Yes, that reference was from Fight Club)

The material benefits are not worth sacrificing what you love, and the sooner people figure this out the better off they will be.


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## WasatchMan (Aug 30, 2011)

What is the point of making all that money if you cant do what you love? Wouldn't you rather make a decent amount and live in a place you love and live your passions? 

The stress just isn't worth it.



But also, do what is best for YOU and your family. Be careful making life changing decisions based on random people on the internet.


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## slyder (Jan 18, 2010)

Truly not an easy question to answer


Less skilled employee easier to replace
Managment skill, your more marketable if you decide to look into a Career and not just a job
Kids in the future, college funds, your retirement etc
Home purchase, you didnt say if you rented
ability to travel/vacation at other hills or countries to ride

Your life cycle will always be fluid, things you sometimes can't control force you to make decisions and take new paths constantly
I cant ride like many of you but now that my kids are older I can afford to take them riding 1-3 times a week. 
SO with all this said I say


threej21 said:


> finally grow up a little, take the promotion, intrude on my snowboarding/wakeboarding, make some good money, prolly have a shitty year until i get used to it all...and maybe in the long run be happy i did...


Not to rain on you but was the promotion offered to you??? I know you said you were next in line, but you also expected your boss to stay another 15-20 years. The company may be looking externally without you knowing. Things don't always go as we wish.


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## threej21 (Jan 2, 2011)

well, im not making my decision based on people on the internet, just using this outlet to voice some of my thoughts/concerns and use other peoples thoughts/insight to help me better evaluate the situation..

thanks for your responses and insights though.... i am so on the fence on this decision. i totally agree with you about money not equaling happiness, and i wouldnt necisarily say that im struggling to make ends meet, but i definitly cant afford all the luxories life has to offer and sometimes do struggle paying bills, mainly due to spending money on the things i love like snowboarding.

like i said, i only make decent money, so a 10-12k raise is a pretty hefty one for me and the money i make. And its not that this promotion, if i were to take it, wont allow me to snowboard/wakeboard anymore..it will just effect when and how often ill prolly be able to ride and enjoy it, and will also, at least temporarily effect my quality of life due to completely changing my schedule and my day to day routines..

ahhhhhh!!! just dont know what to do...

on one hand, i really enjoy my life and dont really wanna change anything....except maybe my pay rate

and on the other, it just seems kind of dumb of me to spend 6 years working a middle posistion job, and then turn down the first oppurtunity at a promotion....i dont wanna work the m-f day job gig, i dont necisarily want the added responsibilities of the job, but i do want the money, and again feel weird/stupid turning down an oppurtunity to improve the financial part of my life...


one reason its so hard, is i never expected to have to make this decision at this job..we are a small company and my boss has been here since 1993...all these 6 years i honestly believed my boss would work here for the next 15-20 years untill he retired and that this oppurtunity for a promotion would never come...so i always figured id work here until...well until whenever i decided to leave and find a new venture.
now, its here, and i dont know what the hell to do.....


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## threej21 (Jan 2, 2011)

slyder said:


> Truly not an easy question to answer
> 
> 
> Less skilled employee easier to replace
> ...



well before even responding to your post, let me fill in some of the blanks i left out, so maybe you can further help me...

im already in mgmt, been in middle mgmt for 6 years, promotion would be to upper mgmt.

already a home owner, for past 6 years

me and wife are undecided on if/when we will have kids


and while it hasnt been "officially" offered to me, due to my bosses tenure with the company and that he helped take the company where it is, he is picking his replacement on his way out, and has already sat down with me to go over all the ins and outs and what not, and told me that i will be replacing him if i so choose


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## slyder (Jan 18, 2010)

Well I still vote for the promotion. Your only 28 and I assume this is a great opportunity and in today's economy or any, they don't come often.
Not sure how much your wife and you have discussed this but maybe it's time to sit down with some of your goals for your future written out and see what path this line would lead you.

I have a guy I worked with that took all the over time our company offered. He and his wife didn't have kids. They enjoyed being world travelers, he's been to places I can't even pronounce. Again maybe for you it's not about the money, but how about the oppurtunity to do things you can't afford to do now. Snowboarding in NZ sounds sweet, not in my budget maybe your new budget???


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## NWBoarder (Jan 10, 2010)

Having never been in your position, I can not make this answer for you, but what I can offer is a suggestion. Follow your passions, not your wallet. It's not "growing up" if you take a position of authority, but you truly have no desire for it. Somewhere along the way, Americans lost sight of the "American Dream", which IMO really was to just be able to be happy doing something you enjoy. Now everyone tries to say money will amke you happy and you hould just pusue whatever makes good money. If where you're at now makes you and your wife happy, then I personally see no sense in ruining that happiness with a job that will take away what is keeping you truly happy. 

Sorry about the long winded answer, but I really just feel that this pursuit of money instead of hapiness is what has destroyed America. I may work a shitty job right now, but that's only cause it pays for me to pursue my hapiness and my dreams.


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## kimchijajonshim (Aug 19, 2007)

Look at it from a skill-base perspective and what it does for your future. Will it expand your skill set and perhaps let you venture out on your own later? Is it going to be marketable and help you get a job you want later? Or is it just committing to the 40-hour work week slog because you think you should?

Also, based on your experience with your boss, do you think you'd like the job? Beyond just the not riding as much, is it going to keep you reasonably interested and satisfied? 

Basically, no amount of money is worth it if you're truly going to hate your life. But some inconvenience and stress now might be worth it if it helps you build the life you want later.


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## threej21 (Jan 2, 2011)

couple things....

due to my wife working at the same company as me, i have not yet been able to discuss this with her...that might sound strange to some, but the cats not out of the bag to all employees that the boss is leaving, therefore i am keeping my word to my company that i will not yet discuss this with any other employees, including my wife...

but yes, when i am able, i will be thouroughly discussing this with my wife, which will help me a ton...but is also why im here discussing it, because i have all these thoughts running through my head and no one to discuss it with

as im rolling all this around in my head, i realize it kind of sucks and is kind of stupid, that the main thing holding me back is the change in my schedule. my schedule works soooo PERFECT for the life that i enjoy. i work 2 nights during the week, 2 off days during the week and i work daytime fri, sat, sun...to yall this might not be perfect but for me it is...i have all 4 weekdays to catch amazing water on the lake and way less crowded mountain to board. i also have a great set of friends with similar flexible schedules so we are all able to do these things together on weekdays....and im almost positive none of this would be the same if i was stuck at work all week

hell, if i had been working m-f day all these years, this promotion would be a no brainer...although it will be stressfull, i can totally handle the added responsibilities, just dont wanna work the schedule that comes with it


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## threej21 (Jan 2, 2011)

kimchijajonshim said:


> Look at it from a skill-base perspective and what it does for your future. Will it expand your skill set and perhaps let you venture out on your own later? Is it going to be marketable and help you get a job you want later? Or is it just committing to the 40-hour work week slog because you think you should?
> 
> Also, based on your experience with your boss, do you think you'd like the job? Beyond just the not riding as much, is it going to keep you reasonably interested and satisfied?
> 
> Basically, no amount of money is worth it if you're truly going to hate your life. But some inconvenience and stress now might be worth it if it helps you build the life you want later.


as far as that, basically my skill set now is that im ready to move up to the next position, ie, if i were to leave my company, i would be applying for the position this promotion would grant me....so would taking this promotion help me as far as other jobs?? yes and no...yes it would prolly make me get hired quicker and for more money being that if i took the promotion now, the next place id go id already have experience at the next step up, but no, in that im ready for that position now anyway, so i think i could likely get hired on somewhere else in the future at that same next level, but itd be at the starting pay for that position, which is basically what ill be offered in this promotion


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## HoboMaster (May 16, 2010)

If you are on the hedge about taking the position (you don't really need the position), I wonder if hours for the job could be negotiated. Is the Monday-Friday schedule absolutely essential for the position, or is that just the schedule that your boss had? If it is the latter and they want you for the position, it couldn't hurt to do a little negotiation. Worst comes to worst, you stay in your current position and enjoy your schedule.

If you could negotiate a similar schedule to what you have now however, the position would have a clear overall benefit since it sounds like you are ready for the extra responsibility.


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## NWBoarder (Jan 10, 2010)

I just wanted to point out that I work the exact same schedule you do. 2 weeknights, 2 off days mid-week and then days on Fri, Sat, and Sun. It is the main reason I get to go to college and ride when the hill is empty. I know that schedule won't be there forever, so I take advantage right now. However, I have had the same schedule for the last 4+ years so I have kind of grown accustomed to it. Anyways, do you work in a hotel too? LoL! :laugh:


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## threej21 (Jan 2, 2011)

HoboMaster said:


> If you are on the hedge about taking the position (you don't really need the position), I wonder if hours for the job could be negotiated. Is the Monday-Friday schedule absolutely essential for the position, or is that just the schedule that your boss had? If it is the latter and they want you for the position, it couldn't hurt to do a little negotiation. Worst comes to worst, you stay in your current position and enjoy your schedule.
> 
> If you could negotiate a similar schedule to what you have now however, the position would have a clear overall benefit since it sounds like you are ready for the extra responsibility.


THIS....yes, this is a bridge i also plan to cross when i actually sit down with the big wigs...the schedule does kind of go hand in hand with the posistion, but i also see it as being plausable to still work my schedule and still be able to do the job...thats a best case scenario kind of thing..the only real win win i see happening

but still leaves me at this crossroad, as i wont know the answer to that question till we are sitting down negotiating the whole thing, so i still need to know my plans before that happens.


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## threej21 (Jan 2, 2011)

NWBoarder28 said:


> I just wanted to point out that I work the exact same schedule you do. 2 weeknights, 2 off days mid-week and then days on Fri, Sat, and Sun. It is the main reason I get to go to college and ride when the hill is empty. I know that schedule won't be there forever, so I take advantage right now. However, I have had the same schedule for the last 4+ years so I have kind of grown accustomed to it. Anyways, do you work in a hotel too? LoL! :laugh:


wow, so you know all about this 'dream' schedule we have that is making my decision so damn hard...LOL, i literally LOVE my schedule and the life it allows me to lead

no dont work in a hotel...was gonna leave my actual profession out to make the advice more broad spectrum, but maybe it can help someone help me more by knowing more.
im in the restaurant biz...im the asst GM that basically runs the entire restaurant opposite of my boss, as in we work opposite schedules, either hes here running the show or i am...and its roughly a $4 million a year company, so there is quite a bit to it


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## slyder (Jan 18, 2010)

That's whats great about the community on this forum. You are able to use us as a sounding board. Nothing wrong with getting opinions and ideas to help you gather information on a big decision.
Keep us posted which way you decide.

*question* I know your wife doesn't know, but which way do you think she would like you to go??


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## threej21 (Jan 2, 2011)

slyder said:


> That's whats great about the community on this forum. You are able to use us as a sounding board. Nothing wrong with getting opinions and ideas to help you gather information on a big decision.
> Keep us posted which way you decide.
> 
> *question* I know your wife doesn't know, but which way do you think she would like you to go??


I love her to death, dont get me wrong, shes my best friend in the world... but whilst sacrifice for a greater cause sounds great in planning, when it comes to the actual sacrifice, she doesnt handle change very well

soooo, shed want the extra money but not the life disruption the new schedule will cause...LOL...so honestly, ill prolly have to spell it all out to her, then give her a few days to think about it as well...but all and all, shed prolly say to......fuck, i really dont know what shed say...guess well know soon...think its all going down within the next 30-60 days


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## slyder (Jan 18, 2010)

gonna be a long 2 months sorry to say....

I'm sure after discussing with your wife the 2 of you will come to a decision that is best for your family


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## ll IrOn CiTy ll (Feb 2, 2011)

You and your wife dont have any kids right??If that is true you two are in a VERY good position to make a selfish decision based on happiness..to hell with money,when you die,I promise you it wont be your bank account you think back on with pride and happiness..Point blank bro..YOU DONT HAVE KIDS..DO WHAT MAKES YOU TWO HAPPY.LOL.. I ENVY YOU!


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## lucky13 (Aug 20, 2011)

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” - John Lennon


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## Donutz (May 12, 2010)

HoboMaster said:


> The material benefits are not worth sacrificing what you love, and the sooner people figure this out the better off they will be.


This!

I had a job for about 15 years that was incredibly well-paying and had banker's hours, but was soul-destroying (mostly because of the boss). During that time I stopped doing anything but work, sleep, and work on the house. Having that kind of job sucks the joy out of life. Now I have a job that pays less than half what I used to get, but I'm snowboarding, skateboarding (sort of), hiking, running, and generally having a good time. I _regret_ those 15 years and _fuck_ the money. Work on enjoying the life you have.


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## snowklinger (Aug 30, 2011)

i spent the last 15 years in the midwest working my ass off and drinking instead of doing what i want to do. then i moved to colorado, started hiking and snowboarding, and rededicated my life to the restaurant industry just so that i can ride as many days as possible (2 doubles, 3 nights, sushi chef). i'm 35 and while i think of the time i have wasted, i'm just young enough to make up for some lost time, and i'm doing it. i've made my plans for the future and they are ride till i cant, work till i cant. this makes ME happy! oh yea been married almost 12 years no kids, wife works the same level/pay as me, middle retail mgmt.


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## kung-POW (Mar 16, 2011)

Personally, I'd take the promotion. It's not like you wouldn't be able to snowboard at all, just not as much as you did before. It all depends on your priorities in life. Also, why would you ask a question like this on a SNOWBOARDING forum??


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## threej21 (Jan 2, 2011)

kung-POW said:


> Personally, I'd take the promotion. It's not like you wouldn't be able to snowboard at all, just not as much as you did before. It all depends on your priorities in life. Also, why would you ask a question like this on a SNOWBOARDING forum??


i dont know, cause people on here share some of the same enjoyments in life as i do, cause its the forum i post on the most of recent, just to put all the thoughts running through my head out there to try and figure em all out


thanks for all the insights guys/gals, some of yall sound like you were in a similar spot as me and seem happy with your decision.... this is gonna be a thinker for me...and will be easier once im able to speak to the wifee about it...here lately, more and more im thinking my long term plan is to move out to CO or UT and live easy and happy doing things i love...that being said, also brings the thought of taking the promotion, knowing i wont be there more than 2 years, stack some cheddar and pack my bags!!

anyway, seriously guys/gals, thinks for chimeing in, it felt good just to get it all out and is definitly helping me organize the thoughts :thumbsup:


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## threej21 (Jan 2, 2011)

Snowolf said:


> I work to live, not live to work.



this exact phrase is something ive said a hundred times before....i work to fund enjoying life, im not a corporate ladder kind of guy. which is why my doubts about taking it ring truer, but im still conflicted by the question of why did i work this job for 6 years if im not going to take a promotion...which i guess the answer is above...i worked the job to fund my enjoyment...

thats kind of where im leaning...if theyll let me maintain my off days, ill prolly take it and make some extra loot for a couple years before packing my bags...if not, ill keep my current job, and maybe just maybe get a small raise since my responsibities will still be increasing with a 27 yr veteran to the company leaves


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## CheeseForSteeze (May 11, 2011)

I agree with doing what you have to to pursue what you love, but just be aware of the sacrifices. For example, I have an 8-5 type job which sucks because it forces mt into weekend warrior schedule. However, with the amount of vacation time, flex time options (3 day weekends) and pay, it makes my entire snowboarding opportunities every year pretty good.

I am trying to find a new job in Colorado, SLC or the like just because there are more options, better terrain, less of a drive (I drive 16 hours a weekend to get my lines in) and a longer season. However, if I were to drop everything and take a lower responsibility job, I'd probably end up snowboarding less just because I'd have to work so many hours to make ends meet.

So I think you have the right idea. Finding out the details will make the decision more informed, obviously. So it's hard to say what is the right choice until then.


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## wrathfuldeity (Oct 5, 2007)

Snowolf said:


> I would say, go into negotiations about the position and be up front and honest with your superiors about your needs. If they can accommodate you in regards to schedule; or at least come up with a workable compromise, go for it. If not, respectfully decline the position and let them know that you are flattered but that by giving up the things you love, you may become less productive as a result. Make them think you are turning it down because you also have the interests of their company in mind. That way, if you do turn it down, they wont feel slighted....:thumbsup:


^This, They already want you but you don't have to take it on their terms. Let them know...negotiate and compromise...at worst they can say no. If it's an enlightened company they know that quality of life matters.


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## slyder (Jan 18, 2010)

threej21

I don't know hospitality, but it seems you like the days off during the week correct??? and aren't most restaurants swamped on weekends when they want you to work anyway, meaning this would work? or was it that you preferred the night shift?? got lost in all the posts hahahaa
*
tired of trading hours for dollars*
I to need to leverage my time better, wife has a gig in the works hoping it develops further so WE don't have to work


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## sketcheroo (Dec 29, 2010)

If you are happy where you are, I wouldn't leave it for anything except for more happiness


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## Listheeb21 (Jan 20, 2011)

Could you broach the subject with your wife by using a hypothetical scenario? i.e..."I heard there's a GM position coming open at XYZ Restaurant (not yours, obviously), and I wanted to get your thoughts about whether or not I should pursue it...here are the pros and cons..."

Maybe this could provide some insight into her thinking. Above all, this decision has to benefit you both. A change in schedule will impact your ability to do the things you love WITH the one you love, so would any amount of money be worth that?


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## garlicbread (Oct 23, 2010)

im not in your exact situation, but in a similar one and have been for years. 

im 25 and ive been working the same job for 8 years, because its a solid job with decent pay that doesnt drive me completely crazy given the moderate amount of hours i work. im able to afford the things i need and have enough free time to enjoy the things i love, and live my life. 

i have been offered promotions several times, and its never something i have a hard time deciding on, the answers no. i know that if i take that promotion, after just a couple weeks of that schedule i would be depressed, lonely, and feeling like im missing out on my life. 

you have one life, enjoy it, your still young, do whats going to ultimately make you happy.


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## firstx1017 (Jan 10, 2011)

The only problem I wonder about, is can your wife get her days switched to weekends off also if you take the position. Not sure how you both would feel if you have weekends off and she has weekdays off - you'd never see each other or share in these things together again. Just didn't see anyone else bring this up in the prior posts. She may actually "like" being with you and will miss that about your marriage if you get weekends off and she can't.......


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## Leo (Nov 24, 2009)

With all due respect, most of the people answering in here are young (myself included). These are typical answers for our age group.

While the "live your life" mentality works very well with some people, it's not actually healthy for others. The main reason I am being a killjoy is because you're married. I am as well. My wife and I had a baby last year and I happened to be 28, your age. 

So my question is, do you plan on having kids in the near future? While not taking a significant pay upgrade with more responsibility might benefit you, it does not necessarily mean it will benefit your family. I am unable to snowboard nearly as much now with a kid and I'm working pretty aggressively to advance my career. I voluntarily take on projects. Yes, this takes up more of my time for really no pay upgrade (I look at it as padding my resume). Why do I sacrifice my snowboarding and gaming time? Because I want to make sure my kid has a comfortable life and doesn't have to worry about school debt.

So yea, single young adults or those who are married without the thought of having kids will likely tell you to "fuck the promotion and live your life". Older adults or those who are starting a family might tell you differently.

Now, I'm not saying take the promotion if it really will be a burden on you. Will the work suck that much? 45-50 hours a week is pretty normal in the business world for people in higher positions. What about your benefits? Will you get a nice bump in stuff like paid vacation time? How about retirement? With a salary increase like that, you should be able to retire sooner.

That's the thing you have weigh. Do you risk working hard now for a better retirement and more comfortable living for your family (comfortable meaning that you, your wife, and possible kids do not have to worry about things like eating out or taking the family on vacations... not talking iPhones and iPads, but that is an obvious benefit as well)? It's a risk because the grim truth is, you might not live long enough to see that retirement or accumulate big savings. On the flip side, you can live your life to the fullest now and not worry about retirement. There's a risk in that as well. You might live to see old age which means you'll be working a looooong time since you made career and money a lower priority.

Sorry for the long rant. If you asked me this a few years ago, my answer would have been very different. Now, I would personally take the promotion and take awesome vacations for snowboarding.


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## killclimbz (Aug 10, 2007)

If you're not planning on doing something big like move West in the near future, I'd say take it. No point in hanging around the same place and not making more money. You are going to have make your play time happen. 

Also, if you are planning on getting out of dodge at some point, this could make that bank account a lot fatter than if you stuck with the old job. Plus it looks good on your resume. 

It's not like you have to do this job until you die. Hell, with the "fire at will" mentality all companies have, I wouldn't even think twice about taking off and leaving them high and dry. They'll do the same to you if they see fit. 

You just need prioritize how you are going to handle the job.


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## turbospartan (Oct 27, 2010)

I'm going against the grain and saying take it... 

It gives you clear Management Experience. With the way the economy is now, yea you could keep your old job but there may also not be this type of opportunity in the future. More money and I would hope more vacation time mean you could go on trips to make up for the mid-week days you are missing for fun. 

I also agree with the "work to live, not live to work" mantra, but there is a fine line that needs to be determined. Like Killclimbz mentioned above... if you are planning on staying where you live (which I would assume you are, since you said you bought a house), why not make more money? If I read everything correctly, you'll have to work a bit more but still get days off. Might be different days than you're working now... but is going riding mid-week (less people) better than weekend riding (more people) + $10-12k?

One last comment I wanted to make: You said that your current Manager works X-days and you work the opposite days. If you're going to be the new Manager, why can't you make X-days whatever days you want, and make the new Assistant Manager (who will be taking your spot) work the opposite days? You'll be the boss, not the new assistant manager.


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## bobthegood (Sep 14, 2011)

I agree with everyone who said that money can't buy you happiness, because it really can't. Yesterday I saw Johnny Depp quoted saying the same thing, followed by "of course it can buy you a nice yacht so you can get right up close to it." 

Two cents - It sounds like a life adjustment won't keep you from doing the things you love, but it will defintiely re-arrange your schedule. The first thing that I honestly thought of was you could go on more trips, upgrade your equipment, and maybe start establishing a career. 

If I'm understanding you right, you don't have the offer yet. I've hired about 100 folks in my career, some in your exact circumstance. If you want the job, do whatever you need to do to get the offer. You're in no position to negotiate right now. If you get the offer, the company has made a commitment to you, and then you can negotiate. Maybe for more vacation, a weekday afternoon off, or whatever. Give a shot; if it doesn't work out, so be it. 

We call some folks lucky. Yet another definition is just being able to recognize an opportunity and then take advantage of it. You'll end up doing what's right


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## Leo (Nov 24, 2009)

Personal observation:

Most people that say "Money doesn't buy you happiness" are...

Are not rich themselves

Are celebrities who cannot live a normal life

Most of the "normal" rich people I come across seem perfectly happy to me. Money certainly won't buy me happiness, but it will definitely add to it lol.


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## killclimbz (Aug 10, 2007)

Money, try to live without it. 

I wouldn't necessarily say that he needs to take it, but it certainly won't hurt to take it. It makes buying your toys a lot easier...


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## Leo (Nov 24, 2009)

killclimbz said:


> Money, try to live without it.
> 
> I wouldn't necessarily say that he needs to take it, but it certainly won't hurt to take it. It makes buying your toys a lot easier...


And that's what my exact point is. Weight should be put on how much it is actually going to "hurt" you versus how much it's going to improve your standard of living. $10-12k pay bump is not chump change. Compare that to how many ADDITIONAL hours you are putting up.

In a management position like that, you can work 12 hour shifts. With that in mind, you can leave one of the weekdays open to shred. Unless the job requires you to be physically there all 5 days of the week. In that case, you can always go night shredding.


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## killclimbz (Aug 10, 2007)

Definitely agreeing with you Leo. Plus with that sort of jump, big trips out West, snow cats, that sort of thing become much more of a reality.


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## DrnknZag (Feb 7, 2010)

^^Maybe this is why our economy is crashing these days, nobody has the drive to actually succeed and move up in the world. :dunno:

Think about your future and take the promotion. It sounds like your current position is pretty much a dead end if you don't take the position. Even if it's not exactly what you wanna do, it's a resume builder and experience towards a different job.

IMO there's a time and a place to not care about how much you're making and just live life, but as you get older that window shrinks dramatically, especially when you start adding a spouse, kids, mortgage, etc. So my advice is to do what you can, while you can, but make sure you're not screwin yourself in the long run. I'm 26 and have been working full time since I graduated college and worked my way into a management role as well. In some aspects I regret not doing something radical between college and joining the working world, but at the same time I make enough and get enough vacation time to take three trips to Whistler a year, and spend a whole week in Colorado. And I've worked my ass off to get here.

Anyway, take it as you will and make your own decision.


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## LuckyRVA (Jan 18, 2011)

DrnknZag said:


> ^^Maybe this is why our economy is crashing these days, nobody has the drive to actually succeed and move up in the world. :dunno:


I'm pretty sure that's not the reason.


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## killclimbz (Aug 10, 2007)

mpdsnowman said:


> One thing I will say when it comes to moving up that ladder along with management duties...sometimes it turns out to be...
> 
> 10K....
> 
> for 20K worth of headache...


That is actually a pretty fair statement. If your company is ran like crap, being a manager might be the last thing you'd want to do.


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## S4Shredr (Oct 23, 2009)

Its a tough call but I would say take the job.

The way I look at it is the promotion = more money, more experience and better opportunities down the road.

You'll still find time to do the things you want to and it will enable you to make bigger moves down the road. Like someone else said, couldn't you negotiate the schedule with your new assistant and make it work out for both of you?

If you REALLY hate it, hire someone to take your place and demote yourself to an assistant again.


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## threej21 (Jan 2, 2011)

wow, lots of responses here...thanks everyone for taking the time to chime in and give me more insight on this...lets see if i can kind of respond to it all

i do plan on moving outwest, but not right away, so that does give the good oppurtunity to take the promotion and stack some extra money untill then. 
Lots of me is saying take it and lots is questioning it. some more of the reason that ive been hesitant is as follows: 
including my boss, we have 4 total managers with myself in the 2nd highest posistion. below me is our catering mgr that until he just resigned 2 weeks ago had been with us for 6 years. very knowledgeable guy and lots of drive. His spot is now being temp. filled by my bosses wife. The last guy on the todem pole is our night mgr. fairly knowledgeable but doesnt apply it, and barely any drive. he is our push over mgr that doesnt really get stuff done.
that all being said, when my boss leaves, so does his wife...meaning, itll be myself as the GM, and the bottom rung guy thats not that great of a mgr, and ill have to hire 2 new mgrs to fill the other mgr spots. meaning, the job will suck that much more. the other 6 year guy that just left, really screwed me (and himself for that matter, since he prolly wouldve stayed had he know what was coming), i would feel so much better if i had him still on the team.

to someone that asked about my wifes schedule...as i said, she works for the same company and has some seniority, so 1) it wont be a problem for me to give her a schedule similar to mine and 2) she deserves whatever schedule she wants, so it shouldnt cause any fuss when she changes it

anyway, I am definitly going to see what i can do about my schedule. Its not a make or break part of the deal, but it is/was one of my main concerns and would be great if i could keep my weekdays off.

i think im leaning towards taking the promotion as long as they play a lil ball...
the make or break parts of the deal will be pay and vacation time.. I will push for what I believe the maximum i can actually get, which i have a good idea of that number is from speaking with my boss. If they wont give me the amount i want, i will then negotiate that 90 days after ive taken the job, i get evaluated and as long as ive met certain criteria, i will then get additional raise at that time.
assuming that we all come to an agreement there, i will request that i get at least 3 weeks paid vacation. ive supposed to have had 2 weeks paid vaca for last 2 years, but its a small company and shit doesnt always happen like its supposed to. So ill be clear that i want 3 weeks and plan on using all 3 weeks...

if i get the money i ask for and the vacation i ask for, i will most likely take the spot.
if i get money, vacation, and the schedule i want, i will 100% take the spot

all while knowing though, it will be a temporary thing for me. probably 2 years max and then hopefully move out west


oh yea, and of course, "this" is what will happen, once i can discuss/confirm it with the wifee


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## DrnknZag (Feb 7, 2010)

LuckyRVA said:


> I'm pretty sure that's not the reason.


Not completely, but I think it has something to do with it. The US used to be on the leading edge of technological innovation for years, and that's when the economy was booming. That was the whole idea behind the "American Dream." Nowadays, it just seems like everyone wants to take the easy way out. The new "American Dream" is trying to get by doing the least amount of work possible. That's bullshit. I work fucking hard for my money and yet I see my tax money eventually going to some losers cheating the system and living on unjustified unemployment. Yes, I know there are still tons of people out there who still CAN'T get a job and their unemployment is justified, but you and I know there are assholes cheating the system for everything you can get.

Anyway, I'm way off topic so I'll get off my soapbox.


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## HoboMaster (May 16, 2010)

DrnknZag said:


> Not completely, but I think it has something to do with it. The US used to be on the leading edge of technological innovation for years, and that's when the economy was booming. That was the whole idea behind the "American Dream." Nowadays, it just seems like everyone wants to take the easy way out. The new "American Dream" is trying to get by doing the least amount of work possible. That's bullshit. I work fucking hard for my money and yet I see my tax money eventually going to some losers cheating the system and living on unjustified unemployment. Yes, I know there are still tons of people out there who still CAN'T get a job and their unemployment is justified, but you and I know there are assholes cheating the system for everything you can get.
> 
> Anyway, I'm way off topic so I'll get off my soapbox.


There is no American dream, new or otherwise, it is a farce and died years ago. Go look at upward social mobility for those born outside the wealthy bracket and let me know the percentage. America is not in a recession because of we lack innovation - rather it's because we live in a society where innovation is sold to the highest bidder and subsequently suppressed to support raping people with monopolies and uncompetitive markets.

I do agree though that consumerism has, on a whole, made people pretty fucking lazy. Still, I disagree with the notion that in order to make your life fulfilling you have to climb some sort of hierarchy and make more money. More then anything that's just consumerism prodding you to maximize your consumption and perpetuate the system.

Off Topic/ Off


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## jdang307 (Feb 6, 2011)

Unemployment insurance isn't welfare, but it is $60 billion in the whole and does breed lethargy. I'd love to discuss in PoFo. 

As to the decision. How is your job security? If you don't take it, is there a risk you will be replaced or let go? What is the expectation there? Will it piss people off if you don't take the job?

I'm a career minded guy so of course I lean towards "take the promotion." But I recognize that not everyone is like that. I won't tell a guy who will be absolutely miserable to take a promotion, when his afterwork activities are his life.

I would definitely take the promotion, deal with the increased crowds on weekends, start socking away the extra money. Do you have a nest egg yet? Have you started one? I just see so many upsides by taking the promotion. The downside is it cramps your lifestyle a bit. But I think the wifey is going to have a major influence on this decision. I don't care who wears the pants in the house, but a pissed of wifey will make those wakeboarding and snowboarding weekdays a lot less fun :laugh:


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## MarshallV82 (Apr 6, 2011)

Gotta say man, take the job!

Even if you only do it for 5 years to tack it on your resume it's well worth it! I wouldn't even think about it to be honest, congrats!
If your just working 45-50 hours a week and don't have to be out of town all the time I see no downside. the first year might be stressfull, but it will soon be routine. You still have plenty of time to ride. 

I too had to make this choice, I was a lineman just working in the field. Now I'm a project manager and I can't just take two months off here and there when I feel like it, but the experiance and the extra money is well worth it. Now I just take better advangtage of my vacations.

I do miss riding 90 days a year, but it's time to worry about the future, take care of yourself and family man, There are some rough roads ahead for our generation...


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## CheeseForSteeze (May 11, 2011)

Snowolf said:


> As I am approaching 50, I now realize that I already have one foot in the grave.


It's ok as long as the other foot is strapped in.


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## Argo (Feb 25, 2010)

I have been fortunate to find a job that I really enjoy with great income and is available @ the base of a mountain. I look forward to 60-100 days on the slopes with my wife and kid.

This restaurant management job could easily take you into a job at the base of a mountain making a decent living while getting to board daily.


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## Leo (Nov 24, 2009)

Snowolf said:


> And no, I am not some kid as Leo suggests.


Hey now, I said most of the people here. Look around and you'll see what I suggested was accurate. Obviously old farts like you, MPD, and killclimbz are excluded. Everyone knows you guys smell like moth balls.

Plus, if I remember correctly, you do no have kids Wolfie. That was my other big point. That makes a HUUUUUGE difference. If you do have kids, they are probably out of the house already.

My wife and I could live very comfortably and not worry about promotions or advancing if we weren't starting a family. In fact, we did live that way before Dylan. We ate out almost every night because we didn't feel like cooking after 12 hour shifts. Both went snowboarding a ton. Pretty much bought what we wanted. 

All of that has changed now. We are very coupon conscious now (this habit we will not drop now even after we advance our careers). Cook more at home, cut down on the Starbucks. While all of this is smart to do whether or not you make a ton of money, the reason for us starting was our kid. When you have kids, unless you're well-off, your standard of living will change. This means you have to make more if you want to continue that standard for yourself and your kids.


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## jdang307 (Feb 6, 2011)

I thought I was old because I started snowboarding at 33. I guess not!! :laugh:

Glad to know I'll be boarding for years to come. I wish I could surf but don't know how to swim (yes I live miles from the beach and don't know how to swim) so I board instead


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## HoboMaster (May 16, 2010)

jdang307 said:


> I thought I was old because I started snowboarding at 33. I guess not!! :laugh:
> 
> Glad to know I'll be boarding for years to come. I wish I could surf but don't know how to swim (yes I live miles from the beach and don't know how to swim) so I board instead


No, No and No. Don't go through life being one of those people who "can't swim". Anyone can swim, it's a matter of overcoming your mental fear. Like Nike says, Just Do It.:cheeky4:


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## killclimbz (Aug 10, 2007)

Not too mention knowing how to swim could save your life or someone else. I'd listen to Hobo and take yourself some swim lessons in the near future. It's like riding a bike. Seriously.


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## jdang307 (Feb 6, 2011)

HoboMaster said:


> No, No and No. Don't go through life being one of those people who "can't swim". Anyone can swim, it's a matter of overcoming your mental fear. Like Nike says, Just Do It.:cheeky4:





killclimbz said:


> Not too mention knowing how to swim could save your life or someone else. I'd listen to Hobo and take yourself some swim lessons in the near future. It's like riding a bike. Seriously.


I have begun taking lessons. I just haven't followed through. I am now comfortable in the water except I can't tread water. Even if I learn how to swim, swimming in the surf is much different and tougher, so that's what I mean I can't swim good enough to surf. Toss me in the pool and I'll swim out. I just cant tread water for the life of me, it's maddening.

BUt I plan on continuing lessons for sure. I miss out on so much not knowing. And it's great exercise, especially since my house has a fucking pool. Yeah I know, I have a pool and don't know how to swim but it's only 5 feet deep so I can't practice treading water here, and yes I can save someone here, I just need to jump in :laugh:


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