# Types of People You See on the Mountain



## trapper (Jan 15, 2013)

My buddy and I have a habit of watching people while on the chairlift and trying to come up with names for the different types of riders/skiers you see on the hill. We're not really that funny, but we like to think we are. Plus it passes the time well. Here are some we've come up with.

Gaper Nukes - First-time, fearless skiers who have no business off the bunny slope. They don't know how to turn or stop other than falling over and simply straight line any hill they encounter. Including blacks. They are a danger to everyone on the hill.

Rocket Noobs - Same as Gaper Nuke only snowboarding version. Got hit by one just the other day.

Meat Rockets - Tiny kid versions of Gaper Nukes or Rocket Noobs, still dangerous but because of the smaller mass they are much less so.

Napoleon Dynamites - These are noobs either on skis or snowboards that are mostly just a danger to themselves and not others. Identified by slow awkward movements and flailing arms.

Gangsta Skier Zombies (GSZs) - Usually very tall, lanky teenage males with oversized pants and sweatshirts who always wear mirrored goggles and wear their helmets tipped back. Never use poles. Float around emotionless. Sometimes they will hit a rail but only with the least amount of effort possible. They never look at anyone or speak, even their friends. 

GWs or Gypsy Wanderers - Low-intermediate or advanced beginner skiers that take a path down the hill with complete randomness, typically utilizing the entire width of the slope. Is completely oblivious to surroundings. Usually is a female aged 30-60 but examples are found in other demographic categories. An example path they might take down (across) the slope: right turn, right turn, right turn, left turn, right turn, sudden stop, look at you as if you see you, turn directly into your path at last minute, etc...

Skier Dads/Moms - Everyone knows who these assholes are.

Potentially Combustible Family Unit (PCFUs) - Usually led by Skier Dad or Mom (but not always), these groups can range in size from 4 up to 12 and encompass a variety of ages and skill levels. Give them a very wide berth.

It's all in good fun...anyone else do this at all?


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## Big Foot (Jan 15, 2013)

I just classify people on the hill into two groups.

People I'm with, and people I'm not with.

Any time people I'm with do something dumb I forgive them. Any time people I'm not with do something dumb, I hate them forever.

That's about it.


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## trapper (Jan 15, 2013)

Big Foot said:


> Any time people I'm with do something dumb I forgive them. Any time people I'm not with do something dumb, I hate them forever.


Winner quote right there!


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## linvillegorge (Jul 6, 2009)

The Go Pro side slipping down greens gaper. How awesome those videos must be.


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## neni (Dec 24, 2012)

Gorillas - boarders with very wide very duck stance, very baggy very low pants, hunched shoulders and arms dangling. Generally gather in groups and are of calme nature.

"Stöckler" - pole-er? (Stock=pole; a word creation for someone who uses his poles with too much enthusiasm). Generally of younger age but also noobish older tourist skiers. They love to swing their poles, especially dangerous on narrow cat tracks and in lift lines. Avoid them carefully if you care for your eyes.


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## Dutty (Dec 16, 2013)

Shufflers - skiers who stand in the lift line with their poles planted in the ground shuffling their skis back and forth, nailing your equipment in the process. This might make me angrier than anything else I see on the mountain.


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

none of these bother me so much, i wont let em ruin my good time, but i have noticed:

The Guardians - their sacred duty is to block all gates and trail merge zones, on special days they block the entries to lift lines. invariably they are skiers

The Placeholders - they choose to wait for their buddies between the scanner and the chair, pulling to the side a bit but not out of the damn way. and everyone is wondering wtf they are doing, if they are loading up or what. sadly, can be either skier or boarder

The Boardslappers aka Beavers...we've been over this

and my (least) favorite:

the Iphone Ass(sitting) Holes: these are boarders who have yet to learn how to strap in standing up, who string themselves in a line across the hill instead of stacking up, and think this is also the perfect time to check their twitter, facebook, or call mom and tell her about the view.

//////


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## chomps1211 (Mar 30, 2011)

trapper said:


> Meat Rockets - Tiny kid versions of Gaper Nukes or Rocket Noobs, *still dangerous but because of the smaller mass they are much less so.*
> 
> It's all in good fun...anyone else do this at all?


*...not so!!!! * Do a search on this forum for my "Thrashed by a Toddler" clip! Little pink meat missle slammed into my ass head first. Literally! She put her helmet right in my tuchus!!!:blink: Hurt hell! (...and not just my pride!).  lol

Also,.. You forgot "*Her Highness, Haughty Hot!*" The smokin' hot female boarder/skier. Usually 16 to 36! Alone or in pairs. (...sometimes a group of 3, with the 3rd member being the plain Jane variety to emphasize the other's Hottness! always wearing Tight tight ski/board pants. Of fair to moderate skill sliding the slope, and displaying complete (..yet somehow still coy!) contempt for every male in the vicinity! 








....then again, maybe it's just me they're ignoring?  :laugh: :eusa_clap:


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## linvillegorge (Jul 6, 2009)

This person:










Almost always spotted near the lift line before the lifts start spinning. Invariable 70+ years old, male, wearing an '80s onesie and can't ski for shit. :laugh:

The image I used is misleading, but the best I could find with a quick google.


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## C.B. (Jan 18, 2011)

That one guy wearing jeans who's really fuckin good.


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## linvillegorge (Jul 6, 2009)

C.B. said:


> That one guy wearing jeans who's really fuckin good.


He be trollin' :laugh:


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## tannersdad (Jan 9, 2013)

linvillegorge said:


> The Go Pro side slipping down greens gaper. How awesome those videos must be.


LOL! I saw 3 Saturday all in a group on the blue runs. All young teens with brand new Hero 3's mounted to their helmets. Heel sliding the whole way down the slope. 

What do you call the people who pull out their smart phones in the lift line and then zone the fuck out?


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## KellionBane (Oct 20, 2013)

Saw a guy 2 weeks ago jump out of the chair lift because he dropped his go-pro.

What about the guy wearing hunting-camo gear... Pretty much looks like he fell out of Duck Dynasty...


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## chomps1211 (Mar 30, 2011)

tannersdad said:


> ....What do you call the people who pull out their smart phones in the lift line and then zone the fuck out?


Speed bumps?


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## trapper (Jan 15, 2013)

These are all hilarious because they are so fucking true.


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## tannersdad (Jan 9, 2013)

chomps1211 said:


> Speed bumps?


:eusa_clap:


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## ekb18c (Mar 11, 2013)

The two that pisses me off the most are the group of sikers who block the catwalks and the boarders who sit across, in a line, to strap on.


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## snowklinger (Aug 30, 2011)

ekb18c said:


> The two that pisses me off the most are the group of sikers who block the catwalks and the boarders who sit across, in a line, to strap on.


human gates are super fail. earlier this season on an empty day we stopped in the middle of a wide open run for like 2 seconds and the other boarder on the mountain stopped to tell us that wasn't a good place to stop. so awesome.


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## Big Foot (Jan 15, 2013)

snowklinger said:


> human gates are super fail. earlier this season on an empty day we stopped in the middle of a wide open run for like 2 seconds and the other boarder on the mountain stopped to tell us that wasn't a good place to stop. so awesome.


I try to let people who stop under big rollers know it's not a good place to stop by jumping over them.


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## linvillegorge (Jul 6, 2009)

Big Foot said:


> I try to let people who stop under big rollers know it's not a good place to stop by jumping over them.


Where we stopped we could be seen from literally a half a mile away on a completely empty run. Thankfully the Great White Knight of the mountain came by to save us from ourselves.


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## Redline (Jan 14, 2014)

The old guy skier/ chemistry guru that can tell you how and why the snow crystals from the snow guns form as they do relative to atmospheric variables. This may only be an issue due to the mountain I usually frequents close proximity to Cornell. It makes for an interesting lift ride, but can get a bit tiresome by the top of the hill.


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## madmax (Sep 10, 2013)

Dutty said:


> Shufflers - skiers who stand in the lift line with their poles planted in the ground shuffling their skis back and forth, nailing your equipment in the process. This might make me angrier than anything else I see on the mountain.


One of the only situations where the "Beaver" or board slap is an appropriate response. re: ridiculously long thread on this topic - http://www.snowboardingforum.com/of...118337-lift-line-board-slappers-yes-you.html. :thumbsup:


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

saw another kind today, on the cattrack, skier, 'tucking' with his poletips out wide as possible, swerving side to side _to not go too fast_ i guess....no need to come up with a name for him because i elbowed him into some bushes as a went by, so i guess 'Worm Food', or Find me in Springtime will do


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## Bones (Feb 24, 2008)

The bridge club or the PTA meeting

That group of 4 skiers who ski side by side on a narrow, flat cattrack chatting and occasionally poling to keep going. Oblivious to who is behind them or what terrain is coming. Impossible to pass but frustratingly you only ever catch up to them as you're running out of speed on the flats. You end up 20 yards short of the next little downhill that might have saved you from having to unstrap.


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## linvillegorge (Jul 6, 2009)

CassMT said:


> saw another kind today, on the cattrack, skier, 'tucking' with his poletips out wide as possible, swerving side to side _to not go too fast_ i guess....no need to come up with a name for him because i elbowed him into some bushes as a went by, so i guess 'Worm Food', or Find me in Springtime will do


This happened to me this past Sunday. I was coming down this particular cat track because there's a nice side hit off of it. Skier McGaperson was in front of me doing this bullshit. I timed him up and then straight lined it for my side hit. About 50' before my side hit, McGaperson abruptly decides to make a whack out of rhythm turn and comes right into me. I catch him and just chuckle and say, "Woah, buddy." McGaperson immediately goes full agro screaming "DOWNHILL SKIERS HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY!!!" I just say, "Well, if you'll notice we were roughly even on the slope when YOU skied into ME" and chuckled again and rode off with him huffing and puffing about god only knows what. :laugh:


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## F1EA (Oct 25, 2013)

linvillegorge said:


> This happened to me this past Sunday. I was coming down this particular cat track because there's a nice side hit off of it. Skier McGaperson was in front of me doing this bullshit. I timed him up and then straight lined it for my side hit. About 50' before my side hit, McGaperson abruptly decides to make a whack out of rhythm turn and comes right into me. I catch him and just chuckle and say, "Woah, buddy." McGaperson immediately goes full agro screaming "DOWNHILL SKIERS HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY!!!" I just say, "Well, if you'll notice we were roughly even on the slope when YOU skied into ME" and chuckled again and rode off with him huffing and puffing about god only knows what. :laugh:


That's what i'm talking about. I dont know who the hell came up with that downhill right of way crap as a blanket statement.

These guys are the worst... because they can go fast enough that you have to go actually fast to pass them, and yet... they still take the whole f'ing width like the beginner 47 y/o in matching clothes who just learned if they do some stupid thing with their skis they can turn all the way to the other side of the run without falling.

Special note: if any of these is a kid under ~10-ish... all is forgiven.


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## ryguy15 (Oct 11, 2013)

The newb skiers who hit a 25+ plus kicker an always take it to flat because they are too idiotic to actullay check there speed and end up yard saling


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## trapper (Jan 15, 2013)

CassMT said:


> saw another kind today, on the cattrack, skier, 'tucking' with his poletips out wide as possible, swerving side to side _to not go too fast_ i guess....no need to come up with a name for him because i elbowed him into some bushes as a went by, so i guess 'Worm Food', or Find me in Springtime will do


Those are WFVs. Wandering Flying V's.


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## designfemme (Mar 12, 2010)

Cats on Roombas. 

The beginners who can link turns but are going really, really slow and are afraid to make any kind of movement whatsoever in the legs and ankles, thus looking like the board is moving them and not the other way around.








Oh wait that's me.


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

CassMT said:


> saw another kind today, on the cattrack, skier, 'tucking' with his poletips out wide as possible, swerving side to side _to not go too fast_ i guess....no need to come up with a for him because i elbowed him into some bushes as a went by, so i guess 'Worm Food', or Find me in Springtime will do


oops, just remembered that it's Special Olympics here this week, maybe that wasn't very nice, LOL

yeh, flying V , that fits...


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## trapper (Jan 15, 2013)

CassMT said:


> oops, just remembered that it's Special Olympics here this week, maybe that wasn't very nice, LOL
> 
> yeh, flying V , that fits...flying morons


Well Special Olympics kids get free passes on the nicknames. But there are plenty of regular folks who fit these categories that are fair game. In fact my brother has Downs and I think he's a better person than most I see on the hill. Especially skiers.


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## andrewdod (Mar 24, 2013)

F1EA said:


> Special note: if any of these is a kid under ~10-ish... all is forgiven.


no it's not... its still annoying as fuck...

the human wrecking ball...

The experienced skier douche who comes barrelling into you and knocks you over while you are unstrapping to get back on the lift, because they just dont give a damn... Some lady did that to me on monday while i was heading into the base lodge for lunch... i was heated... especially since i didnt see it coming since my back was pointed up hill while unstrapping...


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## poutanen (Dec 22, 2011)

Hmmmm, time to come up with some names:

The Daisy Chainers: Group instruction for kids under 6 or so. They all follow the leader, about 3 ft from the person in front of them, in long snakes all over.

The Ford Passer: This is a new one now that I have to cart people off the hills in toboggans. It's amazing, Newton should have studied the toboggan because it has an uncanny ability for attracting people who feel they must ski/board within 5 feet of it. (Mimicking the ford mustang 5.0 driver who passes you long after you've let off the gas)

The "Almost" Pro: Aforementioned peopls wearing GoPros 6" off their heads, with pole mounts, etc. generally riding intermediate at best. I've done crazy shit with a contour on my head and for the most part it all looks bloody boring!

The Gondola Pro: People checking trail maps in the gondola saying "we can't go there, it's only blue squares, lets hit this double black diamond section!" When they get closer to the top, their eyes widen when they see what the terrain really looks like. They proceed to heelslide down the cat track.


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## Varza (Jan 6, 2013)

poutanen said:


> The Gondola Pro: People checking trail maps in the gondola saying "we can't go there, it's only blue squares, lets hit this double black diamond section!" When they get closer to the top, their eyes widen when they see what the terrain really looks like. They proceed to heelslide down the cat track.


I've seen pretty much everything mentioned in this thread except for this one. Then again, I've never heard people discuss trails on the gondola/lift and when our group does it, it actually goes: "no, we can't go here, it's all blacks and hard blues. Where are the long greens and easy blues??" :laugh: 

*looks at mostly mild flat-ish section* "aw crap, that looks too damn steep for me!". -- ok this might be a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my point.


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## poutanen (Dec 22, 2011)

Varza said:


> I've seen pretty much everything mentioned in this thread except for this one. Then again, I've never heard people discuss trails on the gondola/lift and when our group does it, it actually goes: "no, we can't go here, it's all blacks and hard blues. Where are the long greens and easy blues??" :laugh:
> 
> *looks at mostly mild flat-ish section* "aw crap, that looks too damn steep for me!". -- ok this might be a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my point.


LOL, yeah this happened at Kicking Horse a couple weeks ago for me! This couple in the singles line in front of me, with all the latest gear, realized they were in the singles line when they were going to board the lift. We get on the gondola, and they're talking all about avoiding a certain area because it had blues. They were talking about which double blacks to hit... I thought to myself they must be half decent.

Then we get about 2/3 of the way up the gondola, and we pass over this terrain:










Don't get me wrong, it's fun technical terrain, but only a single black on the trail map. The couple went wide eyed and said "that looks tough"... :blink: YEAH! What do you think blue squares are for kids?

One of my favorite groomed runs is a blue square. Why do people feel the need to worry about what rating runs they do?!? Just have fun, whatever terrain you like to ride! :yahoo:

/rant (which BTW was directed at my temporary gondola mates, not you!)


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## firstx1017 (Jan 10, 2011)

How funny - my husband and I do this on the chairlift also. I seem to find all the "whip it girls" which are girls that go down the mountain just whipping their board around instead of linking their turns. Just watching them makes my neck hurt! I can't believe how fast some people can board just whipping their boards and never linking a turn! 

The kid classes following each other is another pet peeve. 

The skiers who suddenly turn into you when you are even with them on the slopes. 

We have benches at our resort for the boarders - which as older folks we use when we get off the chairlifts - what we HATE are the "squatters" - which are skiers sitting on the benches and chatting with one another. They have no reason to use a bench - they are on skis and they have poles - yet they use up the bench space! These benches are "intended" for snowboarders - but invariably there are skiers all over them and their skis are in the way so you can't even use the benches! Argh!!!!

Or the skiers in the lift lines who are pushing themselves with the poles and miss the ground and the ski poles almost take out your eye or jab into your calf! 

Or, when not on the slopes walking by a skier who has their skis on their shoulders and then suddenly turns left or right and hits you in the head with their skis!!!


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## OU812 (Feb 2, 2013)

Yea the 3m killzone radius that skiers have when carrying their skis.


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## designfemme (Mar 12, 2010)

poutanen said:


> Hmmmm, time to come up with some names:
> 
> The Daisy Chainers


I always wanted to call that formation the Human Centipede but I know that's just wrong.


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

the gopro thing really is an amazing marketing win, despite the lame films they produce. a quality film will only use a bit of pov, if any at all because it is the worst way to see the action. but they've sponsored some of the best riders and all kinds of atheletes and are selling the things by the truckload, so kudos to them! (i have noticed many fewer this season than the last 2, so maybe people are noticing)


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## mojo maestro (Jan 6, 2009)

Breckinridge Bros………..the "dudes" that smoke some Mary Jane and do dumb shit.


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## wrathfuldeity (Oct 5, 2007)

Gnarfairy(s)...often a group of them, seen with their gpros on stick, on a bluebird pow day....acting like giddy little school girls.... standing around discussing what sick line they are going to drop but not really able to ride pow nor drop a gnar line.


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## cbrenthus (Feb 12, 2014)

The South Park Ski Instructor - pretty much self explanatory

Duck Feeders - people sitting on the benches for us to put our bindings on. Now, I've seen boarders abusing just as bad as skiers, put your binding on and GTF out! Likewise, if a skier wanted to check their binding or boot, that's cool, but the people that just sit their like their feeding the ducks all day drive me nuts.

Ski Clackers - when you go under the lift with these guys on it, they clack their skis to get snow on you, even though you're wearing 50 lbs of snow gear, and they are in danger of loosing a ski!

Lazy Lift Loiterers - These people stop as soon as possible after getting off the lift, then hang out to grab a smoke, check maps, BS, etc.

Weary Wipeouters - Beginners that aren't very sure of themselves, that as soon as they see you they wipe out to stop, not knowing that if they ignored you, it would be easier to avoid them.


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## Tatanka Head (Jan 13, 2014)

The Odd Couple: The couple that fights in the middle of the piste...and usually extremely loud. Shouts like, "this is the last time" or "why did you bring me here" can be heard echoing across the valley. 


Fucking noobs with GoPros bug me the most. In fact, people with GoPros in general bug me. I've spent too many hours watching shitty gopro footage from friends. Use it to film a friend, or at least learn your angles so the shot looks good and it isn't 90% boots and board.


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## speedjason (May 2, 2013)

I just witnessed something totally on a different level.
The ski-skate dancer: a guy dance like ice-skating dancers but on skis.
He was performing all kind of spins, jumps, and switches on the middle of the slope, totally in his own world. I seriously wondering what kind of weed he was smoking.


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## andrewdod (Mar 24, 2013)

The "Parkplow" pretty self explanatory, but this is the guy/girl who has no business being in the park, but they are, and they are in the way side slipping over jumps and generally falling all over the place. Usually found in large groups that stick together.


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## poutanen (Dec 22, 2011)

cbrenthus said:


> Lazy Lift Loiterers - These people stop as soon as possible after getting off the lift, then hang out to grab a smoke, check maps, BS, etc.


Nice! This can also apply to the people (skis/boards whatever) that wait in the lift lines for their friends. Hill is empty that day? Sure. But if there is even a remotely steady flow through the line, you just fuck things up!

:RantExplode:


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## trapper (Jan 15, 2013)

poutanen said:


> Nice! This can also apply to the people (skis/boards whatever) that wait in the lift lines for their friends. Hill is empty that day? Sure. But if there is even a remotely steady flow through the line, you just fuck things up!
> 
> :RantExplode:


Those are Guardians, lift line version.


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## cbrenthus (Feb 12, 2014)

Golden Guys/Gals: They love to tell on the lift you about the golden days, how they wore regular boots to 'board, had no hardware in the parks just crappily dug pipes, much more animosity about skier vs boarder, and how before the internet you didn't have to compete against people you didn't know and just had fun 

Oh wait, that's me, what do the rest of you call this?!?!


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## poutanen (Dec 22, 2011)

cbrenthus said:


> Golden Guys/Gals: They love to tell on the lift you about the golden days, how they wore regular boots to 'board, had no hardware in the parks just crappily dug pipes, much more animosity about skier vs boarder, and how before the internet you didn't have to compete against people you didn't know and just had fun
> 
> Oh wait, that's me, what do the rest of you call this?!?!


Oldius Fartius


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## trapper (Jan 15, 2013)

"Old Skools" are the nice ones. I don't have a name for the cranky older fucks who complain about snowboarders and talk about how great Alta is. Or the snobby upper-middle-aged skiers who won't even talk to you if you try to spark friendly conversation on the lift.


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## poutanen (Dec 22, 2011)

Okay we get this a lot at Nakiska:

Racers: Mostly under 17 or so. Leave their skis and poles all over the place like they own the joint. (Outside their warming hut, outside the lodge, they just ski up, unclip from the bindings, and leave the equipment in the middle of the trail. 

Racer bobs: Maybe once were racers? Now they spend their days trying very hard to ride aggressively under the chair so everyone can see how good they are (despite the fact they're well past their prime).


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## madmax (Sep 10, 2013)

trapper said:


> Or the snobby upper-middle-aged skiers who won't even talk to you if you try to spark friendly conversation on the lift.


Upper East Siders (derived from the UES ski yuppies that frequent NY and VT slopes)


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## sabatoa (Jan 18, 2011)

F1EA said:


> That's what i'm talking about. I dont know who the hell came up with that downhill right of way crap as a blanket statement.
> 
> These guys are the worst... because they can go fast enough that you have to go actually fast to pass them, and yet... they still take the whole f'ing width like the beginner 47 y/o in matching clothes who just learned if they do some stupid thing with their skis they can turn all the way to the other side of the run without falling.


I *hate* this fucking guy. He's the equivalent of the douchebag on the highway going the same speed in the left lane as the guy in the right lane is going thus making you hit the brakes or turn off cruise.


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## Oldman (Mar 7, 2012)

Do you have a "Poster Boy" ski instructor?

We have one instructor who is just that and he likes everyone to know it. He hits the hill every day, never wearing anything on his head except sunglasses, not googles, sunglasses. 

I have seen him on the hill in -25C ( lower with the windchill ) weather; just sunglasses. Not sure how he avoids frostbite.

No sense, no feeling my father would say. :dunno:


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## kalev (Dec 17, 2013)

speedjason said:


> I just witnessed something totally on a different level.
> The ski-skate dancer: a guy dance like ice-skating dancers but on skis.
> He was performing all kind of spins, jumps, and switches on the middle of the slope, totally in his own world. I seriously wondering what kind of weed he was smoking.


Like this? I can't believe it was actually an Olympic sport


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## sleev-les (Feb 26, 2010)

The Bitch aka YOUJUSTLOSTYOURSKIBECAUSEYOUREABITCH: A mom that takes her kids on a trail that is clearly labelled "Expert Terrain" and since her and her kids are stuck and taking up the entire run she believes everyone should stop and when you don't stop she throws a ski down to try and stop you

The UMAD? bro: The guy that grabs the bitches ski as you pass and toss it in the woods.

Yes, this happened to me.. May have been wrong to toss her ski, but she damn near threw it at me because I wanted to get by.


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## trapper (Jan 15, 2013)

That is pretty much a Skier Mom. Asshole? Yes, but not as much of an asshole as her husband Skier Dad.


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## poutanen (Dec 22, 2011)

kalev said:


> Like this? I can't believe it was actually an Olympic sport


Ski ballet - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Funniest quote from the article: "Ballet was a demonstration sport in the 1988 and 1992 Winter Olympics. The sport has significantly declined in popularity in recent years due to the fact that it did not become an Olympic sport."

No, it declined in popularity because it's freakin horrid!!! :dunno:


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## Oldman (Mar 7, 2012)

poutanen said:


> Nice! This can also apply to the people (skis/boards whatever) that wait in the lift lines for their friends. Hill is empty that day? Sure. But if there is even a remotely steady flow through the line, you just fuck things up!
> 
> :RantExplode:


^This!!!!!

Nothing pisses me off more than the dipstick skier/rider, they both do it, who slide into the lift line corral and then realize they have lost their buddy (s) and stop!!!!!!!!!!! Do they ever look back to see that someone else is right behind them trying to maintain the flow to the lift? NOOOOOOOOOOOO

JACKASS !!!!!!!!!!


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## Deacon (Mar 2, 2013)

poutanen said:


> LOL, yeah this happened at Kicking Horse a couple weeks ago for me! This couple in the singles line in front of me, with all the latest gear, realized they were in the singles line when they were going to board the lift. We get on the gondola, and they're talking all about avoiding a certain area because it had blues. They were talking about which double blacks to hit... I thought to myself they must be half decent.
> 
> Then we get about 2/3 of the way up the gondola, and we pass over this terrain:
> 
> ...


That looks like a ton of fun! Why would they be scared of that?


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## lisevolution (Sep 20, 2007)

the most entertaining to me is the fake park rat... they could be skier or snowboarder on this one but the snowboarders are the most entertaining. They're the one's that sit at the top of the park or above a jump as if they're going to actually hit the feature but never actually do anything besides sit there. You can be on the lift to the top of the mountain pass them, ski down the whole thing, get back on the lift and they're still just sitting there talking shit to all their friends about whatever trick they're not going to pull on that feature because they never actually intend to do anything


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

there are some peeps i really* like* to see:

Snowboardin' Santa: there are a few here, some are noobs, some are longtime riders somewhat in decline but still out there gettin' Aggro...this is my goal, i'll stop when i'm dead

Dad and Son, Dad and Daughter: this is nostalgic for me, arm over the shoulder on the chair pointing out features, talkin technique, waiting up on the trail for the kid who is figuring it out, laughing at yardsales and all that...i miss it


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## Bones (Feb 24, 2008)

CassMT said:


> there are some peeps i really* like* to see:
> 
> Snowboardin' Santa: there are a few here, some are noobs, some are longtime riders somewhat in decline but still out there gettin' Aggro


When I run into these guys, they're always riding solo. Probably because their friends can't ride anymore. But I think it is cool that a) they still ride and b) they still want to ride so much that they'll go it alone to get turns in.


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## wrathfuldeity (Oct 5, 2007)

Bones said:


> When I run into these guys, they're always riding solo. Probably because their friends can't ride anymore. But I think it is cool that a) they still ride and b) they still want to ride so much that they'll go it alone to get turns in.


Or as in my case and several of the buds....we can't keep up the full bore blast top-to-bottom for more than a few mercy runs the 20 y/o kids give us. Last Wed on a great pow day, did the first 3 runs with the daughter's crew. The third run we pulled the train...of course me being the caboose...hit a windlip and almost landed on top of third guy. Then had to beg off as not to hold them up..."no dear old dad on a pow day" But finished the day with them riding steep chutes and trees for a couple runs. Ya, don't mind going alone...often meet a tourist and give them a bit of a tour or help out some older noob dial in some riding. The other day met a 72 y/o local that had been riding for 26 years.


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## poutanen (Dec 22, 2011)

wrathfuldeity said:


> Ya, don't mind going alone...often meet a tourist and give them a bit of a tour or help out some older noob dial in some riding. The other day met a 72 y/o local that had been riding for 26 years.


First time I went up Polar Peak at Fernie, was riding the chair with a local (who had moved from Quebec) and when I mentioned not being up there before, he offered to show me his favorite run down from the top.

Was awesome because it was low vis and quite dangerous up there. Instead of just making it down, I had a great run because of the local!

The Yoda: The wise local who is quiet most of the time, but offers information worth more than gold when they open their mouths...


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

won't claim Yoda status, maybe Guru, lol...this past week i was guiding a Canadian just about every day, partly cuz i'm nice, partly for the safety aspect. with those 2 treewell deaths recently i didn't want to be #3 for riding alone, so if someone was cool on the chair i'd ask em if they wanted to see some shit they would otherwise never find...

Rockin' Gradmas: got a few of these here too, by day cruisng in a completely un-dynamic way, by night they are checkout ladies at the grocery store or the like...


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## OU812 (Feb 2, 2013)

It shouldn't bother me, but the morons wearing GoPro's piss me off to no end especially on intermediate slopes. Also idiots going fast in SLOW zones, mainly at the bottom of the hill where you got everyone gathering, showing off their non-existent skills. 

There's a funny photo online of 2 guys with these massive styrofoam models of GoPro's on their heads, can't find it but thats exactly how stupid most people look wearing them.


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## poutanen (Dec 22, 2011)

OU812 said:


> There's a funny photo online of 2 guys with these massive styrofoam models of GoPro's on their heads, can't find it but thats exactly how stupid most people look wearing them.


What people THINK their GoPro footage will look like:










What their footage ACTUALLY looks like:






What THEY look like:


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## OU812 (Feb 2, 2013)




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## d2cycles (Feb 24, 2013)

Hold Up ers: The people that are assigned to the group at Silverton that consistently tell everyone to hold up so they can: put ski/board on back pack, put on ski/board, get go pro ready, figure out how to get down, figure out how to get foot in binding, find intestinal fortitude to man/woman up and hike the damn mountain, take 50 pictures, take 50 pictures in different outfits and poses, and figure out how to actually ride their snowboard so they can get down the mountain. 

I was not pleased with them last Friday...cost us 2 whole runs there.


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## tokyo_dom (Jan 7, 2013)

Someone mentioned park plows, and i have to agree on that. If they are skiers, they are busy rounding off all of the smaller kickers, because they literally snowplow the entire way down, eventually coming to a stop at the lip of the kicker;then proceeding to ensure that the lip is crushed as they roll off.

Snowboarder park plows can barely make a heelside turn, try to straightline to the jump, but catch an edge, proceeding to make a nice divot on the run-in to the jump. Or if they are lucky and make it all the way to the jump, they catch an edge on a divot left by the last failure, making a bigger divot.


I realise this is the beginner line at the snow park. And people will fall while learning, but if you cant even turn properly, stay out of the park!


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## andrewdod (Mar 24, 2013)

tokyo_dom said:


> Someone mentioned park plows, and i have to agree on that. If they are skiers, they are busy rounding off all of the smaller kickers, because they literally snowplow the entire way down, eventually coming to a stop at the lip of the kicker;then proceeding to ensure that the lip is crushed as they roll off.
> 
> Snowboarder park plows can barely make a heelside turn, try to straightline to the jump, but catch an edge, proceeding to make a nice divot on the run-in to the jump. Or if they are lucky and make it all the way to the jump, they catch an edge on a divot left by the last failure, making a bigger divot.
> 
> ...



Exactly my point. There are some people who just shouldn't be there.


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## binarypie (Nov 29, 2009)

*The Expert* - This person will comment on every single person they see while on the lift. Critiquing in great detail everyone they deem inferior. Off the lift they generally have good form but are an intermediate / advanced at best.

*The "Pro" / The "Local"* - These people are generally the same. They know everyone. They do boast constantly about either their own prowess or the prowess of someone they know. They generally tend to be good athletes but are still annoying to sit on a chair with.

*The "Other Mountain" is Better* - Holy crap if you that other mountain is so awesome why the the hell did you come to this one? Shut up already.

*The Washed Up* - Often they were once professional or attempting to be so. Are generally great riders/skiers. However, the lifestyle, alcohol, and/or injury has worn them down to a shell of their former self. Without the ability to rip it and few marketable skills they tend to get drunk and lament about days gone by. Truly sad.


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## Big Foot (Jan 15, 2013)

binarypie said:


> ...
> 
> *The "Other Mountain" is Better* - Holy crap if you that other mountain is so awesome why the the hell did you come to this one? Shut up already.
> 
> ...


I can't stand these people. I was on a lift with some annoying cunts from the northeast who wouldn't shut up about how their usual mountain in Vermont is so much better than Breckenridge. Then why the fuck did you pay the cash to fly out here to ride an "inferior" mountain?


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## binarypie (Nov 29, 2009)

Big Foot said:


> I can't stand these people. I was on a lift with some annoying cunts from the northeast who wouldn't shut up about how their usual mountain in Vermont is so much better than Breckenridge. Then why the fuck did you pay the cash to fly out here to ride an "inferior" mountain?


Being from Vermont I can't imagine what they are comparing to breck. especially on a pow day.


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## F1EA (Oct 25, 2013)

The human curtain or table cloth:

Matching pants and jacket... cheesy ass print. They tend to be snowboarders, because skiers mostly match everything with one even color.

Some of the prints are so cheesy they are cool, others are so cheesy you wonder if they made their clothes out of old curtains from the antique store. Get funky.


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

new 'style' here seems to be one-piece winter camo suits, like white with branches, i think they are for hunting or snowmobiling...this, for many reasons, seems a Terrible idea to me

i only hike pre and post season, because i can't wait or i don't want it to be over (we have a short, forest service mandated season). i go up there because i know the terrain, and i go solo, but with all the other hikers maybe i'll have a slightly better chance of help if i get in trouble...

Observed yesterday:










*Lewis and Clark:* checking distant terrain 'Lewis' abruptly points out some feature with his pole, missing yours truly's face by about 3 inches, whereapon Lewis received a stinkeye that would wilt tulips


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## poutanen (Dec 22, 2011)

CassMT said:


> new 'style' here seems to be one-piece winter camo suits, like white with branches, i think they are for hunting or snowmobiling...this, for many reasons, seems a Terrible idea to me


Here's my in Kicking Horse a couple weeks ago. White maple leaf camo jacket. If it wasn't for the bright yellow pants I think I'd be damn near invisible in the trees!










The fiancee wears a bright red jacket, and the base of her board is a bright red as well. If I look up and see a flash of red I know which direction she's heading... 

I did want something like this a couple years ago, probably not the best idea!!!


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## binarypie (Nov 29, 2009)

I'm stupid bright because I'm afraid one day I'm going to need to be rescued.


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## linvillegorge (Jul 6, 2009)

binarypie said:


> I'm stupid bright because I'm afraid one day I'm going to need to be rescued.


Yep, bright really isn't my normal style, but it just makes sense on the mountain.


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## poutanen (Dec 22, 2011)

binarypie said:


> I'm stupid bright because I'm afraid one day I'm going to need to be rescued.


It's also good because anybody you're boarding with can see you easy in crowded sections. More time spent boarding and less time looking for people!


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## Big Foot (Jan 15, 2013)

poutanen said:


> It's also good because anybody you're boarding with can see you easy in crowded sections. More time spent boarding and less time looking for people!


One of my friends who skis has black everything. Black boots, pants, jacket, gloves, helmet, goggles, facemask. So does pretty much 50% of the other skiiers on the mountain. Trying to find him on a crowded day is a huge pain in the ass.


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## trapper (Jan 15, 2013)

Big Foot said:


> *One of my friends who skis* has black everything. Black boots, pants, jacket, gloves, helmet, goggles, facemask. So does pretty much 50% of the other skiiers on the mountain. Trying to find him on a crowded day is a huge pain in the ass.


Well there is the real problem right there, lol.

I keed, I keed.


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## neni (Dec 24, 2012)

SO wears black head to toe. Can't convince him to any color. I have very hard times to spot him, especially if there are bushes/trees/rocks (like oh, that fir over there is moving, must be him then) :thumbsdown:
Only recently he asked after a run why I didn’t take the line he indicated from below "I was waving like a maniak and nontheless you ran over that rocky steep, there was a nice line further left, why don't you watch at my signs?!" Why? Cos you're a black spot infront of black trees; 50m away theres no difference between the black in black. Thanks to the shiny orange goggles I spotted him at all. 

Thus big :thumbsup: to everyone with bright colors.


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## trapper (Jan 15, 2013)

Has anyone ever met SuperAuthorityLiftTicketCheckerMan?


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

ive got white jacket/bright blue pant, i figure its a good combo of stealth (upright) and visibility (when head down in a tree well)

i have def met Lifty/Authority man! and yesterday also was *Father Tetris* who, in the absence of the 'pairing' lifty felt it was his duty to see that any chair have max capacity, telling, like a pretty forceful twat actually, that 'there's a single up there! and You two should pair up!' shit like that, he also got the stinky stinky eye, LOL


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## Argo (Feb 25, 2010)

C.B. said:


> That one guy wearing jeans who's really fuckin good.


I forgot my snowpants when I went to Jackson on Monday and Tuesday so I wore my jeans.... Fucking cold as he'll On Tuesday with wet snow. Still had fun though. Thank goodness for thermals


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## DaveMcI (Aug 19, 2013)

trapper said:


> Has anyone ever met SuperAuthorityLiftTicketCheckerMan?


I met that guy at sugarloaf a few weeks ago. He nazified the lift line and sniped my buddies pass who was borrowing another friends pass. Fuck him


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## F1EA (Oct 25, 2013)

I met that super lift authority ski instructor guy once. Needless to say, he was in skis and not only i gave him a killer look when he tried to "instruct" me on who i should board the lift with. My response went from a "nah, i'm fine" to an impolite "go fuck yourself" as his sense of authority increased.


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

there are those skipant that are printed to look like jeans....srsly wtf

and i have seen an instructor with a big group blocking a whole merge area! maybe he was teaching them how to be proper Guardians? maybe it is learned behavior....


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## d2cycles (Feb 24, 2013)

Saw a dude riding in a Ghillie suit at Monarch Sunday. It was not a winter suit so he was easy to see and it was very funny.


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## Rasse (Dec 12, 2013)

neni said:


> Gorillas - boarders with very wide very duck stance, very baggy very low pants, hunched shoulders and arms dangling. Generally gather in groups and are of calme nature.


Damn, this topic was all fun until I recognized myself...

We have a shitload of Spandex-Missiles in the local hill.

The skiers who wear a tight condom-like suit made way too tight for anyone to use. They usually go down the hill as fast as they can but as soon as you arrive, they get the best idea ever and want to start jumping off the sides of every single jump or rail you were going to use. Typical behaviour is also to start stretching in the lift line and moving skis back and forth destroying your equipment in the process


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## bcollins (Jan 30, 2013)

I'm sure this one has come up a few times...the skiers that ski back and forth with absolutely no recognizable pattern. You try and pass them and nope, here they come, okay they just turned again time to...nope, they're coming back. My son and I have resorted to calling them "crabs". Watch the video for an explanation. 

Family Guy - Crab Guarding House - YouTube


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## poutanen (Dec 22, 2011)

^^^ Use the part after the "V=" and wrap it with youtube tags:


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## trapper (Jan 15, 2013)

bcollins said:


> I'm sure this one has come up a few times...the skiers that ski back and forth with absolutely no recognizable pattern. You try and pass them and nope, here they come, okay they just turned again time to...nope, they're coming back. My son and I have resorted to calling them "crabs". Watch the video for an explanation.
> 
> Family Guy - Crab Guarding House - YouTube


Gypsy wanderers. See my first post. 

Spandex missiles, I like that one!


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## tokyo_dom (Jan 7, 2013)

CassMT said:


> there are those skipant that are printed to look like jeans....srsly wtf


Hey now, easy there big fella :laugh:
I love my 686 Destructed denims!

And while mine are still more like baggy street jeans, if you look at virtually any snowboarding video featuring parks these days you will see that the fashion is street styled skinny jeans/pants with even more streets styled hoodies/vests etc.


But, speaking of fashion, I am not sure if this is just a Japanese thing, but there are many people here far too much in to the 'look'. 

Was taking a pre-departure piss and there was one guy busy hairspraying his head to get it looking just right. Others are there in regular baggy hoodies, flat brimmed hats and wayfarers/frogskins, while its-20 degrees, snowing heavily with massive windchill. I call these *Form-before-functioners*, and they make me shiver just looking at them


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## PalmerFreak (Jul 13, 2009)

The Pep Steppers - the douche bags that telemark ski. As if normal skiing isn't pathetic enough these retards decide to do it with bindings that appear to be broken in half. They're the ski equivalent to the pep stepping mall walkers that gather every morning to exercise.


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## MikeIn248 (Dec 6, 2011)

One person isn't enough to call it a type, but I did once see a guy wearing a silver and gold lucha libre mask over his head. It was probably warm, but it looked ridiculous.

Several times at different places I've ridden the lift with Obsessed with Wax Skier Dude. This is the guy who talks at you for the entire lift ride about what the appropriate wax is for the temperature and conditions. He tells you what wax he used yesterday. He voices his internal debate about whether he should re-wax today as the temperatures rise. He speculates on what wax he should use tomorrow.

I usually horrify him by admitting that I can't remember the last time I waxed.


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## MeanJoe (Jul 20, 2011)

*stretches out neck muscles with a head rotation*

*stretches out shoulders and arms*

*hamstring stretch*

*deep knee bends*

Okay, I'ma ready to rant... so for context, I'm in the middle of Ohio and our local "mountain" is 300 vertical feet of goodness. It is what it is and they do a great job with what they have. You can check it out here:

Mad River Mountain | Ohio's Largest Ski & Snow Tubing Resort | Where everyday is a Snow Day!

So... that said here is my contribution:

Bangers & Mash: Overweight, overage "racers" who show up for race leagues on the weekends. Our local mountain caters to them, closing an entire run for most of the day so they can pretend to be Bode Miller. Again remember this is 300 vertical feet and 144 acres, there isn't that much terrain to ride and it drives me nuts the resort caters to them and closes down an entire trail just for them. Instead an overcrowded resort on the weekend is even more congested just so the guys in lycra race suits stretched to the bursting point and a bib riding up over their belly towards their chest, can loudly growl/yell as they bash each gate on the way to setting a new personal best! The worst is later in the lodge when they're walking around with the top portion of the racing suits pulled down and tied around their waste below that belly as they clutch a pitcher of beer and act as if they're the baddest of the bad assess on the mountain while they wait for a small moment to shine when the day's best times to be announced to the rest of their lycra clad masses.

Loft Moms: The Loft is pretty small. Correction, it is a decent size but there are only a limited number of high-top 4-person tables which are all near the bar. You know the type of table, the one you want to stand around after riding for a few hours and enjoy a nice pitcher of beer with your friends? Yeah, those. There are also a ton of long tables and chairs everywhere but these Loft Moms are never seated there. Noooo! These sacks of suburban mediocrity show up at 8 AM with their little terrorist children, see them off to the lifts, and then poach every single bar table in the place. For the entire god-damn day. They sit there with their Starbucks, their laptops/iPads, their books, their packed lunch and bottle of Evian, and their failed lives and never move. Those of us who you know... actually go out and ski/board and want to grab a beer in the lodge and SPEND MONEY on a quick break are S.O.L. Anytime the bar's management has tried to deal with them, ask them to move, etc., they throw a holy-shit-fit that THEIR precious unique snowflake is out there snowboarding and they MUST BE ABLE TO SEE OUT THE WINDOW and then threaten to not renew the season passes for their little darlings. As if there was anywhere else to go next year...

See, now I sound all angry and mean...

MeanJoe


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## Deacon (Mar 2, 2013)

MeanJoe said:


> *stretches out neck muscles with a head rotation*
> 
> *stretches out shoulders and arms*
> 
> ...


you're just living up to your name! It must be a Midwest thing, because we have tons of that here too. Effin annoying!!


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## linvillegorge (Jul 6, 2009)

tokyo_dom said:


> Hey now, easy there big fella :laugh:
> I love my 686 Destructed denims!
> 
> And while mine are still more like baggy street jeans, if you look at virtually any snowboarding video featuring parks these days you will see that the fashion is street styled *skinny jeans/pants* with even more streets styled hoodies/vests etc.
> ...


I can't wait for this fad to go out of style.


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## poutanen (Dec 22, 2011)

linvillegorge said:


> I can't wait for this fad to go out of style.


That makes two of us!!! Maybe it's because I was from the baggy jeans generation of the early 90's, but I think skinny jeans look retarded! 

Wish people would just wear NORMAL cut jeans, t-shirts, etc.


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## PorkCereal (Dec 28, 2013)

Makes 3, haven't bought jeans in over 5 years because I don't like wearing womens jeans.


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## neni (Dec 24, 2012)

CassMT said:


> there are those skipant that are printed to look like jeans....srsly wtf


I love my denim pants and I love my color matched jacket/helmet 










Grumpy old men :cheeky4:


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

those don't look like the ones i've seen neni, i'm talking about the faux -distressed printed type, yours look very classy....and yep, before my coffee i'm grumpy, stilll not old though! hah


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## SoCalSoul (Nov 13, 2013)

Hey, I like my black Burton "Jeans"...the Gore-Tex serves me perfect and jeans go with everything. At least they're baggy and not skinny jeans...totally agree with you guys on that. Skinny jeans are meant for women.


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## F1EA (Oct 25, 2013)

neni said:


> I love my denim pants and I love my color matched jacket/helmet
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This is an example of good colour matching. Real nice.

Although, the best match is the white goggles and knee-deep pow


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## IAFFbuckeye (Feb 8, 2011)

Ok MeanJoe I about ruined my keyboard reading your post on Mad River's ski racers and loft moms. Mad River is also my local hill and you nailed spot on those two sub genres encountered at our huge vertical hill. Thanks for the laugh.


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## neni (Dec 24, 2012)

As the title says "on the mtn" I include the mtn roads as well cos there are some ppl I find more annoying than all the pole wave about and runout scenery viewing blockades...

The NoClueTurists of which several subtypes exist: the ones trying to drive up the steep snow n ice covered single track mtn roads which ends at our cabin and get grounded and block the road. Subtype a) has snowchains but wouldn't set them at a spot where others could get past them _before_ getting grounded, no, they have to try and then block the road... or the b) types not having snow chains at all "but I have snow tires!" Great man, stay in the valley! or c) have snowchains but never used them, has no clue how to set them and never gave any thought on the fact that different sizes exist, but insist that they fit - man, they're too small, no need to try another half an hour!

The turist coach missile comming down the snow covered pass in a storm, slowly slithering down the street out of control, while you're on the side of the road where right after the guide board there's a 300m cliff. Maybe it would have been a good idea to pospone that drive and make a coffee break till they managed to clear the road? Maybe it would have been a good idea to study the weather forecast and _not_ take that shortcut over the pass in a storm? Or maybe to get reasonable tires, cos you're transporting ppl, you've quite some responsibility!? (It can be done, our public transport coaches manage to climb up n down the mountains in such circumstances).

Not as dangerous but unnerving: the Claustrophobics. Those who apparently have big issues with bends and tunnels, and - heaven forbid - if both come together! Sorry, our mountains have more tunnels than an Emmentaler cheese has holes... They'll slam the break at the entrance if every tunnel, and will drive way slower than permitted/adequate. But if you take over, they'll glue themselves to your trunk cos they're so happy that someone will guide them. Man, uf I can't see your head lamp in the mirror anymore, you're too close!


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## MeanJoe (Jul 20, 2011)

IAFFbuckeye said:


> Ok MeanJoe I about ruined my keyboard reading your post on Mad River's ski racers and loft moms. Mad River is also my local hill and you nailed spot on those two sub genres encountered at our huge vertical hill. Thanks for the laugh.


And I didn't even go into the throngs of middle managers and family from Honda, the leash moms, and the ski clubs. Basically if the mountain was just mine I'd be happy. Haha

It has been a good year at MRM with this winter we got. I try not to complain too much but this thread was a good chance to vent. If you're up there and see a middle aged fat guy in blue pants, grey stripped jacket, white helmet, and riding a NeverSummer that's me. Say hi... Unless you're one of the ski racers then I challenge you to a head-to-head race.


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## Donutz (May 12, 2010)

I'm coming in late here, but today I hate... oh, wrong thread. :laugh: Still, types of people I hate after yesterday are the ones who can't seem to figure out that a bunch of people waiting at the top of a park line are WAITING THEIR TURN TO HIT THE LINE. FFS, how hard can it be? But these oblivious gits will just ride in from the side and jack your line. I almost landed on top of some kid coming off a pyramid. He apologized, and I think I probably scared the crap out of him.

Of course these types probably act pretty much the same back in the world too.


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## neni (Dec 24, 2012)

Donutz said:


> Of course these types probably act pretty much the same back in the world too.


Oh yes, _these_ types are awsome in BC. Buddies and me waiting on a save spot each going one by one (cos its steep and deep and level 3) when a bunch of freeride rambos woosh right down the mtn over us into that run all together in a bundle. Needless to say it was virgin fresh before


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## andrewdod (Mar 24, 2013)

Over the past few days ive discovered a new type... the stoppers. these are people or children who like to stop my god damn lift!:RantExplode: Theyre usually accompanied by skier dad and mom, instructors, they often move like sloths, are often very surprised, and sometimes a little embarrassed. 

On a sidenote... has anyone ever seen what happens when a skier doesn't keep their tips up? they wind up in the cargo net, or with a twisted up knee. It happens at least twice every day... again, they are more than likely children who were not properly prepared by their parents... I feel bad for the poor guys, because there is really nothing you can do until it happens...


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## speedjason (May 2, 2013)

the "park jockeys": basically teens who can't even ride properly on the green run without a lot of sliding turns yet very good in the park (I am jelly).:huh:


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## Booo! (Feb 14, 2014)

Donutz said:


> I'm coming in late here, but today I hate... oh, wrong thread. :laugh: Still, types of people I hate after yesterday are the ones who can't seem to figure out that a bunch of people waiting at the top of a park line are WAITING THEIR TURN TO HIT THE LINE.


+1. This weekend I saw so many people get cut-off in the park. I too was very much WTF. Especially when someone is already on his/her way down.

But there's also always some 14 y.o. kid who is super shy and polite about you going first ...and then they pull a front-flip or 540 or something.


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## f00bar (Mar 6, 2014)

I love how this started off as a people who look like their pets to a people who really annoy me on the slops feast 

As a skier has taken a 10 year hiatus and is just getting back into it with my 9 year old who is boarding it actually was funny way to reremember basic etiquette. Especially when it comes to him and his parking on the side of the slope, etc.

Anyway, my contributions. The first will date me a bit.

The Undertaker - late 80s/90s you would see them. Jeans and a trench coat. Obvious first timers who just grabbed whatever seemed warm. Skiers going straight down waiting to plow over a line of people at the bottom when they realize they don't know how to stop. Boarders rolling down the slope tangled in their trenchcoats. Named after a friend from KY who came to Stowe one year totally unprepared who happened to look just like the Undertaking. Now we'd call them Trenchcoat Mafia. Luckily that fashion has gone out of style a bit.

The Accountants - You overhear these in the lift line calculating the number of runs they need to make during the day to get the price per run under a certain threshold, otherwise they feel they got ripped off.


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## poutanen (Dec 22, 2011)

f00bar said:


> The Accountants - You overhear these in the lift line calculating the number of runs they need to make during the day to get the price per run under a certain threshold, otherwise they feel they got ripped off.


I'm guilty of that, but on a season basis!!! I analyze the number of days we did at each resort, and figure out if we saved or lost money by having a season pass... Takes me an hour or two and the fiancee and I argue about it for a while.


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## Big Foot (Jan 15, 2013)

poutanen said:


> I'm guilty of that, but on a season basis!!! I analyze the number of days we did at each resort, and figure out if we saved or lost money by having a season pass... Takes me an hour or two and the fiancee and I argue about it for a while.


I like doing this just to see how ridiculously cheap I got my daily pass for. Currently I'm at $21 a day. Hoping to get it down to $15 a day before the season is over .


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## f00bar (Mar 6, 2014)

Big Foot said:


> I like doing this just to see how ridiculously cheap I got my daily pass for. Currently I'm at $21 a day. Hoping to get it down to $15 a day before the season is over .


I think we all do it at a season/day level. But when they are dog tired and falling all over in the last few runs because their legs are spent but need to achieve that <$1 a run on a week day pass that they got for $20 with a coupon I will say it's a bit obsessive


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## cbrenthus (Feb 12, 2014)

f00bar said:


> I think we all do it at a season/day level. But when they are dog tired and falling all over in the last few runs because their legs are spent but need to achieve that <$1 a run on a week day pass that they got for $20 with a coupon I will say it's a bit obsessive


Exactly, and they don't think about the fact that an ER co-pay will throw that cost perspective way off. I recently payed $50 for a ticket, and only did maybe 5 runs because I just wasn't feeling "on" that night. And that's when I people get hurt.


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## mojo maestro (Jan 6, 2009)

Powder pirate.......someone who comes smokin' by you, whilst you're standing above some untouched pow.........usually heard laughing or singing.


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

i always wonder what the hell people are lookin at...you snooze you lose!

i think 90% of these types can go into one giant category, which could be call: Oblivious - just not paying attention


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## Naturesabre (Jan 11, 2014)

haha I remember my first real powder day. I was laughing maniacally sporadically all day and beaming like a fool when I wasn't laughing, and I fell a lot, and I was exhausted, but laughing nonetheless. Powder pirates are probably the happiest people around.


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## neni (Dec 24, 2012)

CassMT said:


> i always wonder what the hell people are lookin at...you snooze you lose!


A-HA! YOUR ONE OF THESE _FREERIDE RAMBOS_?! (see post #112)TZZZZZ


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

well...from my perspective: how the hell do i know how long someone is gonna stand there trying to figure out what to do?, ive got other 
'appointments' to keep. tbh ive only do it to boarders (who are sitting on their butts) a couple times. but to skiers, chatting and pointing, i have no qualms whatsoever, pretty much a daily occurence


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## hardasacatshead (Aug 21, 2013)

I'm with Cass. If you're standing there fucking about at the top of a fresh line I'm not about to wait for you to finish pulling yourself over it, I'll gonna breeze right on by and do my thing. I wouldn't be a cunt and hit a feature that somebody was clearly scoping out and lining up for, but there's no universal "I saw it first" etiquette in general play.


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## Luvmustycarpet1 (Jan 31, 2014)

Gotta love the Napoleon Dyanmites always good for laugh....That name fits it best


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## andrewdod (Mar 24, 2013)

Flailing fingers. Pretty much people who huck themselves over huge jumps, and leave their arms flailing. The best ones are skiers with their poles.


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## Argo (Feb 25, 2010)

hardasacatshead said:


> I'm with Cass. If you're standing there fucking about at the top of a fresh line I'm not about to wait for you to finish pulling yourself over it, I'll gonna breeze right on by and do my thing. I wouldn't be a cunt and hit a feature that somebody was clearly scoping out and lining up for, but there's no universal "I saw it first" etiquette in general play.


Shit, I'd probably lay a big rooster tail on you for standing there like a fool..... :yahoo:


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

i'm sure i spray the shit out of gawkers sometimes, i never look back to see though, cuz i'm a pirate, Arrrgh


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## surfinsnow (Feb 4, 2010)

Wow…I actually read through almost all of this 13-page thread. A lot of funny stuff, but a lot of just stupid bitching, too!

First, my hates: the skiers who hold their poles out sideways getting of the lift, taking your eyes out, no clue that they're wielding weapons! Then one that several have mentioned, the people who get off the lift then just stand there -- like the old lady who balances her checkbook or puts on her makeup after her transaction at the bank (do people still use banks?)

*But the gripe that I don't get, that lots of you bitch about, is the GoPro thing.* I've had one since they were actually new. I rarely use it, but I fail to see why it bothers anybody. Yes, it looks silly…but how does it affect your riding in any way? So what if the video I shot of my wife or a friend is boring even though she wants to see how she is progressing? How the hell does it make any difference to you? It's not as if I'm sitting in the middle of a run strapping in while talking to seven of my friends. In fact, I'm pretty efficient at this shit, as I ride pretty much only with skiers (including my wife) who are all assholes and think it's funny that I don't like to ride the lift in the middle of them and get jabbed by their poles or cut off trying to get off the lift. I have Flow binding and am ready to go practically as I slide off the lift. It takes half a second to reach up to my helmet and click the "ON" button on the GoPro. Unlike the noobs or the idiots sitting seven-across in the middle of a trail or the skiers taking up the whole trail, what difference does it make that I am taking boring video while I ride? Do you also bitch about carrying a GPS in your pocket to track runs and speed? It has about the same impact on you. NONE. I just don't get the GoPro hate, other than that maybe you don't have one. Really…POV video gets boring quick, but then no one wants to sit through anyone else's vacation pictures either…I don't hear you calling camera owners idiots.

>RANT OFF<


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## Luvmustycarpet1 (Jan 31, 2014)

Ill jus call


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## Deacon (Mar 2, 2013)

surfinsnow said:


> Wow…I actually read through almost all of this 13-page thread. A lot of funny stuff, but a lot of just stupid bitching, too!
> 
> First, my hates: the skiers who hold their poles out sideways getting of the lift, taking your eyes out, no clue that they're wielding weapons! Then one that several have mentioned, the people who get off the lift then just stand there -- like the old lady who balances her checkbook or puts on her makeup after her transaction at the bank (do people still use banks?)
> 
> ...



the problem with the go pro is the kids who can't ride, and are dangerous because they're paying more attention to swinging that stupid pole around than learning how to get better. 
one thing I've seen is kids that can kill it in the park, but can't ride normal terrain to save their life.


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

i don't mind the gopro kids, i just feel bad for them. many are missing out on the experience of riding so they can document their flailing


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## mojo maestro (Jan 6, 2009)

The Elmer Fudd........dude that thinks he's a player and out on the hunt for snow bunnies. Spends a lot of time in the bar and says something to any bunny he sees.


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## BearPaw (Jan 24, 2014)

surfinsnow said:


> Wow…I actually read through almost all of this 13-page thread. A lot of funny stuff, but a lot of just stupid bitching, too!
> 
> First, my hates: the skiers who hold their poles out sideways getting of the lift, taking your eyes out, no clue that they're wielding weapons! Then one that several have mentioned, the people who get off the lift then just stand there -- like the old lady who balances her checkbook or puts on her makeup after her transaction at the bank (do people still use banks?)
> 
> ...


I like this guy! :bowdown: Regarding ski poles, what's with instructors telling them to point them forward like weapons!? I don't know anything about skiing but pointing them like in a cavalry charge (no bugle) I do not get! It's bad enough they stand in the middle of the run, but moving forward in some weird cavalry charge formation WTF!?


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## speedjason (May 2, 2013)

on the gopro topic. most of the people on the slope with gopros are "trying too hard". basically you see a teen with a gopro on his helmet, cant even ride properly but insist hitting the park and always pick the biggest jump. failing to stomp it just a small hop and fall miserably. then they just do it again and again to record their badassness. to them, snowboarding is more of a statement than a lifestyle so they can go back and show their friend their one day of the year snowboarding and park experience.:dunno:
yes I have an action cam but I told myself unless I can pull a stylish method, I am not gonna record it.
I think whats happening is we are receiving too much information. so much to a point most of it is just junk.


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## surfinsnow (Feb 4, 2010)

speedjason said:


> on the gopro topic. most of the people on the slope with gopros are "trying too hard". basically you see a teen with a gopro on his helmet, cant even ride properly but insist hitting the park and always pick the biggest jump. failing to stomp it just a small hop and fall miserably. then they just do it again and again to record their badassness. to them, snowboarding is more of a statement than a lifestyle so they can go back and show their friend their one day of the year snowboarding and park experience.:dunno:
> yes I have an action cam but I told myself unless I can pull a stylish method, I am not gonna record it.
> I think whats happening is we are receiving too much information. so much to a point most of it is just junk.


The other point you're missing about the GoPro, though; in the last year or so I've used it less for snowboarding than for other things, like white water rafting, surfing, diving in Mexico, kayaking and even just for interesting underwater still pics (I live on a lake). I don't think I used the GoPro once while snowboarding last winter. This winter I've been riding with an old friend who've I've never ridden with before and he wanted me to video him because he's never seen pics of himself on the mountain (another skier, unfortunately). 

It just seems to me that GoPro has become the latest subject of pointless hatred just because it's become popular. But like I said, it's just one of those things that doesn't impact anyone else in the slightest. It's not blocking the trails or bumping up the snow or cutting you off in the liftline. Sure, noobs like to use 'em, but that's cool, too, if it helps get them amped on riding. I rarely use mine when snowboarding anymore (although I'd like to try to pole mount perspective), but if I get a bluebird powder day at a good mountain, I have no problem using it, even if just hand-held. 

There are still a surprising number of people who stop me to ask about the camera; I thought GoPros were so common now that everyone knew what they are. Apparently not. I just don't understand why anyone hates on a tiny piece of equipment simply because it exists and other people like to use it.


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## ekb18c (Mar 11, 2013)

I mean seriously who cares what others think?

If you want to use a gopro to capture your wifes, kids, or friends riding down the slope, so be it. I would love to had someone record me when I was just starting out so I can see what I'm doing wrong or right.

If you want to wear a camelbak just wear it. I wear it because I don't want to put my board down to go get some water. 

If you put your pants inside the binding or outside the binding who cares? Hell I do one in and one out. 

If you stop in the middle of a cat track and block me, now that's when I have a problem!


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## surfinsnow (Feb 4, 2010)

^^^this^^^


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## Sean-h (Oct 21, 2011)

Ha, I just got me a GoPro:yahoo: Going to both Mount Washington and Whistler soon where I am going to make the best ever vids complete with the cheesiest transitions iMovie has to offer:laugh:


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

i think pov is mostly a good way to film other people, following thru trees and shit...but even the best helmet cam is only interestin gfor the person who made it, and barely for them. i just saw a bit of jeremy jones pov, riding insane spined face in AK, and it was just like....yawn.

all kudos in the world to gopro for their marketing genius though, damn.


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## F1EA (Oct 25, 2013)

Gopro is cool. I learned more about my riding by watching 1 single Gopro video (pole cam) than any other single thing, including private lessons. That said, I have only filmed my riding with Gopro three times ever, I ussually don't bother.

POV footage is absolute rubbish though. Most people you see with a helmet cam are total noobs... not because they can or can not ride, but because anyone (ahem... anyone not dumb) who's EVER seen POV footage will never do it again.

Do I care about them? nope. Not the least bit. it's their camrea, their helmet. Their life.

Edit> To add, the Gopro is not just market hype. It is a good camera. Really wide angle lens, simple to use, decent amateur video quality. Small. Can take a beating. You can take it anywhere, including underwater.


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## Varza (Jan 6, 2013)

F1EA said:


> Gopro is cool. I learned more about my riding by watching 1 single Gopro video (pole cam) than any other single thing, including private lessons. That said, I have only filmed my riding with Gopro three times ever, I ussually don't bother.


Yeah, I am debating getting one at some point so we could film each other and see what we're doing wrong and where we can improve. Coupled with lessons, it might actually be the best way to progress. 

But the damn thing is so expensive and like you said, we'd probably not be using it very often, so this idea is on hold at least until I start making mountains of money


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## hardasacatshead (Aug 21, 2013)

Meh. I use my go pro as a helmet cam occasionally just to have some fun memories. Our trips to the snow are always a holiday, we don't have the luxury of living near a resort so it's a big expense for us to get there and as such it's nice to have a bit of footage to remember it by. 

I do agree that helmet cam/POV is generally shit but I just can't be fucked carrying a pole around with me and I'm not going to wear a backpack in bounds just for that. 

As a matter of fact I just threw a quick vid together from some powder days in Jackson Hole. Ahhhh.... the memories. Got half a chub watching it


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

hardasacatshead said:


> As a matter of fact I just threw a quick vid together from some powder days in Jackson Hole. Ahhhh.... the memories


ooo, that i would watch


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## hardasacatshead (Aug 21, 2013)

Will post it to the boarding vids/pics thread once I upload it


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## Varza (Jan 6, 2013)

I see little kids with them all the time. Little tiny skier kids with a gopros on their helmets that look as big as their heads :laugh: Rich parents are great to have...

And also people who don't seem like they can ride or are really trying... on green with a camera pole. None of this has ever bothered me, so I guess what I meant to say is, I agree with *surfinsnow*'s rant. I just notice them and sometimes have a little internal giggle and that's it.


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## LuckyRVA (Jan 18, 2011)

CassMT said:


> ooo, that i would watch


+1, let's see it


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## hardasacatshead (Aug 21, 2013)

Here ya go then. Link to the other thread so as not to hijack this one. 

http://www.snowboardingforum.com/ph...boarding-videos-pictures-118.html#post1612346


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## trapper (Jan 15, 2013)

It's not hijacking, post away my friend. I don't give a fuck!


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## Consonantal (Dec 12, 2012)

God I've been late to every good thread around here.

Has the "senior-skier-wearing-matching-jacket/pants-absolutely-slaying-the-mogul-littered-black-runs-below-the-lifts" been mentioned?

Just saw one last week. No helmet or toque, just a pair of really ghetto looking goggles and his majestic white hair jumping from mogul to mogul.

I love those guys. Absolute heroes.


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## marie4214 (Mar 14, 2014)

trapper said:


> My buddy and I have a habit of watching people while on the chairlift and trying to come up with names for the different types of riders/skiers you see on the hill. We're not really that funny, but we like to think we are. Plus it passes the time well. Here are some we've come up with.
> 
> Gaper Nukes - First-time, fearless skiers who have no business off the bunny slope. They don't know how to turn or stop other than falling over and simply straight line any hill they encounter. Including blacks. They are a danger to everyone on the hill.
> 
> ...


That is funniest thing I've heard on here. I'm rhe don't f**k wit ma funk sway! Lol


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## Argo (Feb 25, 2010)

I almost busted out my camera yesterday on a couple that was snowshoeing down the Main Street in Vail. On straight up concrete heated sidewalks with zero snow. Poles and all......


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## marie4214 (Mar 14, 2014)

You should of got that glam pic. Roaring haha


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## kalev (Dec 17, 2013)

Consonantal said:


> God I've been late to every good thread around here.
> 
> Has the "senior-skier-wearing-matching-jacket/pants-absolutely-slaying-the-mogul-littered-black-runs-below-the-lifts" been mentioned?


or the complete opposite - the 4 ft tall six year old kid, fearlessly charging the steep, mogul-littered tree run below the lift


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## mrkjones (Jan 16, 2013)

My son coined this one:
Butt Boarding – the boarder that bounces off their edge and continues on down the mountain on their butt with the board out in fount plowing snow as they go. 

And of course I end up doing just that under the chair so everyone can watch.


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## CassMT (Mar 14, 2013)

saw a guy today letting his little girl ride *on her belly on the board* going down the cattrack...no one word covers this person


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## marie4214 (Mar 14, 2014)

ugh .. stopping the lift both on bottom and top for 5 min every time for this chick and two guys could help her on and off, so she didn' t have to take one leg out of bindings.. vip I guess :icon_scratch:


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## f00bar (Mar 6, 2014)

The Bundys

That cute couple who thought it was a good idea for the one half who knows how to snowboard to teach the other rather than go the lessons route. I think this endeavor should be a requirement for all wanting to get married. Though the wedding planning industry would take a huge hit as would the divorce attorneys.


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