# One Liners



## T.J. (Aug 28, 2007)

"i want to make a mess in your mouth" work every time for me.


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## PaoloSmythe (Aug 19, 2007)

get yer coat luv, you've pulled!


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## Slaughterhouse (Aug 17, 2007)

I'd love to spray acid on your face so you will be with me forever and ever.


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## Guest (Apr 14, 2008)

I'll nosepress your box if you lipslide my rail


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## Guest (Apr 14, 2008)

JoshE950 said:


> I'll nosepress your box if you lipslide my rail


hahaha great one


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## Guest (Apr 14, 2008)

One liners are a waste of time. Even if the girl has never heard it and its clever chances are you are still going to get shot down just because it sounds like a line.

I had a friend walk up to a girl and say hey do you need a drink? She replied yes and he turned and pointed at the bar and said well the bars right there and he walked away. She ended up coming back to talk to him later. Just proves my theory more woman like asshole guys.


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## Guest (Apr 14, 2008)

Oje said:


> Just proves my theory more woman like asshole guys.


stupid, high-maintenance girls like asshole guys. 

in my experience, one liners only will work if you say it so that it sounds like a joke and you are mocking the fact that people seriously try to use them. even then, the girls it works on are usually ones that you really want to completely skip the talking.

that dress is very becoming on you. if i was on you i'd be coming too


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## Guest (Apr 14, 2008)

Are you from heaven? Cuz' I've got an erection!


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## Guest (Apr 14, 2008)

Wanna see my pole, sweethole?


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## SpAcEmAn SpLiFF (Dec 18, 2007)

if you were a burger at mcdonalds, youd be a mcgorgeous


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## Suburban Blend (Feb 23, 2008)

*corn baller*

Is you Father a theif?

Then who stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes?


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## junglecat1971 (Jan 14, 2008)

Yo daddy must be a baker cuz your buns is hot!


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## Alexander (Apr 7, 2008)

Your daddy must be a farmer 'cuz those are some fine melons.


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## hoboken (Mar 13, 2008)

just get to the point..

nice eyes wanna f*ck?


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## Guest (Apr 25, 2008)

One liners don't work! LOL! They are sure funny though!


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## Guest (May 1, 2008)

haha one of my mates spent an entire night at a party trying every 1 liner he knew on the same girl...he was way to drunk to considering giving up until her boyfriend showed up.

can i borrow your cellphone? i told my mum id call her when i fell in love.

is that a run in your stockings or a ladder to heaven?

if you fell for me, id catch you.

i know a bunch of others...60% of the time they work all the time.


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## snowvols (Apr 16, 2008)

Well the Tennesseean has to say the classic I guess
"You must be from Tennessee since your the only 10 I see"


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## Guest (May 4, 2008)

Just cut to the point...

"I wanna fuck you in the face."


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## Guest (Jul 21, 2008)

JoshE950 said:


> I'll nosepress your box if you lipslide my rail


AWESOME!!!! hahahahahaha :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

did it hurt? ..... When you fell from heaven?

yeah one liners are only good to break the ice and make the girl laugh...


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## Guest (Jul 24, 2008)

do you know the number for a vet?

cause these puppies are sick! (said while flexing)


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## Guest (Jul 24, 2008)

is that a mirror in your pocket cause i can see my self in ur pants

are tired cause youve been running threw my mind all day

bow bow (sirion sound) girl: what r you doing that is the ambulance comming to take me away cause the sight of you just stopped my heart

I dont have a libary card. . . but can i check you out


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## Guest (Jul 30, 2008)

"i'm not a girl anymore, lets f*ck"


"what has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? my zipper"


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## nzboardlife (Mar 25, 2008)

you wear incredible hulk underwear?


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## Guest (Jul 30, 2008)

nope its a penis references...when its happy its puny and simple but when you get it frisky it gets HUGE and beastly:laugh:


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## sedition (Feb 8, 2007)

Are those space pants your wearing, cause that booty is out of this world!


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## nzboardlife (Mar 25, 2008)

con3593 said:


> nope its a penis references...


O RLY!? never would of guessed...


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## Guest (Aug 6, 2008)

*put up index finger and gesture to come over here* 
*she walks over*
"I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with two."

"There's 206 bones in the body. Want another one?"

God, if only these one liners worked...


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## Guest (Aug 6, 2008)

hahahah yeah I know life would be a lot easier


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## Dcp584 (Sep 10, 2007)

I stand by just addressing a girl as "sugar tits" and then she'll just be putty in your hands.


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## Guest (Aug 6, 2008)

more like you would get slapped in the face... hahahahaha :laugh::laugh::laugh:


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## Guest (Aug 16, 2008)

How bout we win the Stanley cup of tonsil hockey 

Was you're dad a baker? Cuz you hot some nice buns

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to brake the ice


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## Guest (Aug 19, 2008)

Are you Irish? Because my penis is Dublin. :cheeky4:


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## Guest (Aug 20, 2008)

you're alright looking for a fat bird. wanna come back to mine so we can fuck? ive got lots of cake in the fridge...


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## Guest (Aug 21, 2008)

surely a nice and simple "will you sit on my face" would work every time?
just my opinion but im off to try 2nite...


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## Guest (Aug 21, 2008)

Froggyste said:


> surely a nice and simple "will you sit on my face" would work every time?
> just my opinion but im off to try 2nite...


You will have to let us know how that goes!!


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## flyin-w (Jul 25, 2008)

you got a keg in ur pants?? cuz i want to tap that ass..
is that a mirror in your pocket...cuz i see myself in your pants:laugh::laugh::laugh:


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## 1fine69 (Sep 9, 2008)

I'VE GOT A GUN, GET IN THE [email protected]#$%ING CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Never fails......


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## Guest (Sep 21, 2008)

My names (your name here), but you can call me tonight!

HA but on a serious note and from a girl's perspective.. one liners are for jokesters.. compliments are the stairway into a girls pants


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## Guest (Sep 22, 2008)

Jigzz said:


> How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to brake the ice


My buddy used that one on some broad at the bar and he got laid that night... sluts


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## Guest (Sep 22, 2008)

1fine69 said:


> I'VE GOT A GUN, GET IN THE [email protected]#$%ING CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


phenomenal, cant think of any side effects to this one either. definitely the funniest one yet!


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2008)

Ive always been a fan of :

"Bend over and touch your toes, I wanna see where babies grow"

"Can I buy you a drink? Or do you just want the money"

"You arent the best looking girl in here, but beauty is only a light switch away"


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## X1n54n3x (Sep 28, 2007)

1fine69 said:


> I'VE GOT A GUN, GET IN THE [email protected]#$%ING CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Never fails......


+1000, let me know how that goes


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## Guest (Oct 8, 2008)

I may not be a genie but I can make your dreams come true.
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?


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## Dcp584 (Sep 10, 2007)

Ha the one about the cloroform is great.


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## Guest (Oct 9, 2008)

haha this is a pretty funny thread


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## Nivek (Jan 24, 2008)

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.


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## wrathfuldeity (Oct 5, 2007)

Is your daddy a terrorist? cause u da bomb.

group of hot girls...go up to the shortest one and say "so you must be the runt of the litter"

some hot waitress comes up to take your order...check her out, then say "I'd ask you out but you spilt gravy on yourself" (or whatever the stain)...I suppose you want me to lick it off...you are just sick (you shudder).

Women have something that they really invest in/attend to...like their eyes, hair, dress, shoes; figure out what it might be and then just bust on that thing...just tease and make fun (no reason to be rude, nasty or mean) of that feature/thing for a short time and then walk away. A high percentage will come looking for you cause they want more attention and wonder while you walked away. You have become an enigma and challenge...she will be chasing you.


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## Guest (Oct 14, 2008)

Lines don't work, never have, never will. Whoever started the rumor that they do work, should be shot. There isn't much that's more annoying than a guy coming up and feeding you a lame ass line. Whatever happened to introducing yourself?!:laugh::laugh:


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## sedition (Feb 8, 2007)

edmontonsara said:


> Lines don't work, never have, never will. Whoever started the rumor that they do work, should be shot. There isn't much that's more annoying than a guy coming up and feeding you a lame ass line. Whatever happened to introducing yourself?!:laugh::laugh:


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## T.J. (Aug 28, 2007)

sedition said:


>


HAHAHAHA! :laugh:


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## mag⋅net⋅ism (Oct 26, 2008)

OMG. These may be the funniest lines I've ever heard... but I sure I hope I never run into any of you dudes at apres, would be a real waste of the pint I'd toss down your pants!


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## wrathfuldeity (Oct 5, 2007)

Hey do you work at subway? ...Cause you make my 6 inch a footlong.


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## Guest (Oct 31, 2008)

wrathfuldeity said:


> Hey do you work at subway? ...Cause you make my 6 inch a footlong.


The others made me chuckle but this one made me snort! The gun one was pretty damn funny, too!


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## Guest (Oct 31, 2008)

You gotta do these while ur flexing ur biceps... sounds gay I know, but it's funny

Hey baby, you don't need a license to play with THESE guns!!!

You know a vet? Cuz these puppies are SIIIIIIICK!!!


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## Guest (Oct 31, 2008)

Hey baby, U ever work at UPS or Fedex? 'Cuz U can sure handle a package!


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## Guest (Nov 1, 2008)

guy: Did it hurt?
girl: Did what hurt?
guy: When you fell from heaven?

I actually had that one used on me the other day when I accidently bumped into some dude getting coffee at Wawa (convenience store, for those not on the east coast).

And no, he didn't score a date. I was so stupified that someone would ACTUALLY use a line like that...

My response when I recovered from being dumbfounded...I laughed in in his face. Funny, but not gonna score my number for that one.


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## Guest (Nov 2, 2008)

blondie said:


> guy: Did it hurt?
> girl: Did what hurt?
> guy: When you fell from heaven?
> 
> ...


Haha, when someone uses that line it's as if they are not even trying anymore.


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## T.J. (Aug 28, 2007)

blondie said:


> I actually had that one used on me the other day when I accidently bumped into some dude getting coffee at Wawa (convenience store, for those not on the east coast).


lol at the explanation of wawa. i miss wawa, none of em down here. we are stuck with just sheetz. not like home where we had both.


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## Dcp584 (Sep 10, 2007)

Haha we have a wawa in Frederick, and like 4 sheetz stores.


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## baldylox (Dec 27, 2007)

What kind of sheeit can you get at Sheetz? Sorry, I couldn't help myself.


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## T.J. (Aug 28, 2007)

oh your right dan. i've been to that one actually


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## Guest (Nov 9, 2008)

*Just 2 cent*



edmontonsara said:


> Lines don't work, never have, never will. Whoever started the rumor that they do work, should be shot. There isn't much that's more annoying than a guy coming up and feeding you a lame ass line. Whatever happened to introducing yourself?!:laugh::laugh:


It went out in the 80s sweetheart. Honestly, girls don't care if you're interested as much as they care if you're interesting. 98% of the time if a guy opens his mouth to a girl then girls assume he's interested. So introducing yourself as an icebreaker/opener = deadend. Got say or do something to get attention in a good way and bonus points if it's interesting 



wrathfuldeity said:


> Is your daddy a terrorist? cause u da bomb.
> 
> group of hot girls...go up to the shortest one and say "so you must be the runt of the litter"
> 
> ...


That's pretty good advise as long as you know how to walk the line of being playful and being an asshole lol But be careful of just making yourself out to be an ass that way guys. It's all about calibration.


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## Guest (Nov 9, 2008)

Fallen Saint said:


> It went out in the 80s sweetheart. Honestly, girls don't care if you're interested as much as they care if you're interesting. 98% of the time if a guy opens his mouth to a girl then girls assume he's interested. So introducing yourself as an icebreaker/opener = deadend. Got say or do something to get attention in a good way and bonus points if it's interesting
> 
> 
> 
> That's pretty good advise as long as you know how to walk the line of being playful and being an asshole lol But be careful of just making yourself out to be an ass that way guys. It's all about calibration.


Haha Go up to a hot waitress serving 7-8 fatties at the same table and say, "hey baby, don't you wish you got paid by the pound?"


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## FoShizzle (Nov 6, 2008)

Do you have a map? 'Cause I'm lost in your eyes :laugh:


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## Guest (Nov 14, 2008)

I got a 1 liner on a buddy that wrecked his chances with a girl for at least one night. He had been hitting on her for a few hours. He went racing down the hill after her so naturally I followed him to screw everything up. We got to the bottom of the hill and she looked at him and stated that he got down the hill pretty fast to catch up with her. Me, not missing a beat whipped around and said, you think that was quick, you should see him in bed, he makes a minute man look like a porn star. Needless to say, he turned redder than the kool-aid man and couldn't talk to her for a week. They are now dating and have been for 6 months so I guess we can consider that a successful 1 liner. To this day, she still laughs about it but she said it made her remember him.


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## ollie (Mar 30, 2008)

have you got a mirror in your pocket??

because i can see myself in your pants

classic


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## Guest (Nov 14, 2008)

Someone call the police.....you just stole my heart

I'm the master of one liners.....my friends get a kick out of me
They never work other than to initiate conversation


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## Vlaze (Nov 12, 2008)

Did you just fart? Cause you blew my breath away.


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## Guest (Nov 15, 2008)

screw one liners. just go up to girls and be like "hey baby whats up". works every time. did it at the mall today infact. went to chill wit my friends and we talked to mad chicks =]


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## Guest (Nov 16, 2008)

thats a good one haha


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## Guest (Nov 17, 2008)

the one that i hear alot that makes me laugh is 
i'm not elmo, but you can tickle me if you want to
so lame you just have to laugh 
or
you turn my software into hardware


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## Guest (Nov 29, 2008)

Hi, my friend over there wants to know if you think I`m cute.

Hey you, you`ll do.


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## Grizz (Nov 10, 2008)

DVS TJ said:


> Me, not missing a beat whipped around and said, you think that was quick, you should see him in bed, he makes a minute man look like a porn star.


Uh dude, think about the implications this puts on *your* relationship with said buddy.


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## lcstriker07 (Oct 20, 2008)

Excuss me, does this rag smell like chloroform? The ladies will fall right into my arms fellas.


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## Guest (Nov 30, 2008)

mag⋅net⋅ism;74985 said:


> OMG. These may be the funniest lines I've ever heard... but I sure I hope I never run into any of you dudes at apres, would be a real waste of the pint I'd toss down your pants!


why do you girls don't appreciate the guys who try to get your atention in a funny way.
we are honest , we say what we want!!!
take a f***ing example.

oneliner: girl , i never believed in fait but when i saw you , i believed that their are angels


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## Guest (Dec 1, 2008)

"hey! i just want to cover you in peanut butter, roll you in goose feathers, and rub your left shoulder blade all night." works on every girl without exception


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## Guest (Dec 1, 2008)

skeeter said:


> "hey! i just want to cover you in peanut butter, roll you in goose feathers, and rub your left shoulder blade all night." works on every girl without exception


... 
i don't want to meet the girls you hang out with


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## tomtom88 (Nov 13, 2008)

ok. so what you do when your at say, a coffe shop. you drop a sugar packet at her feet, make it obvious when you go to pick it up, then you say as you hand it to her, "Ms. I think you dropped your name tag."


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## lcstriker07 (Oct 20, 2008)

I usually get better results using a packet of sweet n' low...


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## Guest (Dec 5, 2008)

skeeter said:


> "hey! i just want to cover you in peanut butter, roll you in goose feathers, and rub your left shoulder blade all night." works on every girl without exception


um, that's just weird :dunno:

perhaps you should seek a mental health counselor? 
It is strangely reminiscent of tar and feathering. any repressed desires we should know about skeeter?


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## Guest (Dec 8, 2008)

Honestly speaking, one liners do not work! (Unless the guy is just sooo damn cute, then he's forgiven [if he plays it off as an obvious joke half a second later] )

But yeah, in most cases I would say the best approach is straight and forward. Gauge the situation and act accordingly. A cute joke can help to break the ice, but only if it is appropriate to the surroundings (and tasteful). 

But that's just me, I'm sure there are some girls out there that fall for really lame one liners. Good luck finding one


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## Guest (Dec 8, 2008)

SnowBun said:


> [if he plays it off as an obvious joke half a second later] )
> 
> I don't think people use pick up lines seriously, more as jokes though. I sure can't take them seriously.


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## Guest (Dec 8, 2008)

well sometimes guys are actually 100% serious when they say them, it's pretty awkward. I had that happen to me a few times before. I'm talking about the overly suggestive comments, not the cute ones.


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## Guest (Dec 8, 2008)

how's this for a one-liner?

sitting at a table near a window, in a restaurant with two female friends, we hear a knock at the window. there's a guy outside on the sidewalk holding a condom strip in his teeth, and points to the condoms and then points to all of us making inquisitive gestures. 

the girls grew more and more grossed out as he persisted, tapping at the window and pointing between himself, the condoms, and my table. eventually i started pointing back and forth between him and myself, playfully suggesting that i wanted a one on one.

the girls got a laugh and the guy walked away shaking his head in disgust.


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## Guest (Dec 8, 2008)

that really is disgusting! I LOVE your comeback though, hilarious


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## Guest (Dec 9, 2008)

a one liner my friend has used many times, and still hasn't worked yet:


(yelling across the street/club/etc.) ayo ma! lemme get dat butt!


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## Guest (Dec 10, 2008)

" i want to eat large amounts of sesame seed bagels with you in a hot tub while watching midget porn, then make sweet love to the gaps between your toes"

dont judge till you try it


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## Guest (Dec 10, 2008)

If anyone has played Tony Hawk's Underground they'll know this one:

"Nice legs, what time do they open?"


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## Guest (Dec 10, 2008)

at okemo on sat 12/6 there was this girl walking back to her car, she gave me a lil look so igave her one back, she went to her car, and lit a cigarette, so i got in the truck and started gesturing if she wanted to smoke a bowl, i made a fist and pretended to light it, and she came over totally stoked,but was like i am going to meet friends at the bar, and its not that i dont, i do, but i cant mix em it messes me up.. so i admitted defeat yet again.


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## Guest (Dec 11, 2008)

DVS TJ said:


> I got a 1 liner on a buddy that wrecked his chances with a girl for at least one night. He had been hitting on her for a few hours. He went racing down the hill after her so naturally I followed him to screw everything up. We got to the bottom of the hill and she looked at him and stated that he got down the hill pretty fast to catch up with her. Me, not missing a beat whipped around and said, you think that was quick, you should see him in bed, he makes a minute man look like a porn star. Needless to say, he turned redder than the kool-aid man and couldn't talk to her for a week. They are now dating and have been for 6 months so I guess we can consider that a successful 1 liner. To this day, she still laughs about it but she said it made her remember him.


if thats not an example of a great friend i don't know what is. props man.


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## Guest (Dec 14, 2008)

You gotta walk up to two girls for this one.

Hi, my name is Peanut, you can be Butter and lets call you Jelly. So what do ya say, wanna make a Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich?


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## Guest (Jan 9, 2009)

you vibing me???


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## Guest (Jan 9, 2009)

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?


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## Guest (Jan 9, 2009)

SnowBun said:


> Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?


gun? hahaha. nice


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## Guest (Jan 9, 2009)

100 approaches and eliminating the number of times I wuss out - Bodybuilding.com Forums

Guy decided to document 100 approaches to women, some of these are absolutely awesome:

Approach # 6 
See two nurses walking down the street. 
Me: I think I am not feeling well. You know any nurses that can take care of me? 
*no response*


Approach # 12 
(at the club)...this girl look confused 
Me: Are you lost? 
Her: No, I am just trying to get through the crowd. 
Me: I can help you. 
Her: You gonna make way for me? 
Me: No, I am going to carry you across. 
****she walks away****

and my personal favorite:

Approach # 9
Going into White Castle...I see a nice HB 7 across the street. I whistle loud to get her attention. She turns around. I tell her "hey, come here, let me buy you a burger". She doesn't come.


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## Guest (Jan 9, 2009)

*DMX voice "Aaayo BITCH. C'MERE!!!


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## Guest (Jan 10, 2009)

the word of the day is legs, lets go back to my place and spread the word

i wouldnt kick you out of bed for eating cookies

if i had a swing like you at home i would never go out


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## Guest (Jan 11, 2009)

So im scoping a chick out a local store i frequent and got to know her on a first name , me and a buddy were at the bar enjoying some tasty vodka red bulls and i called the store , she anwsered and in a rushed matter I said " hey write this # down real quick .. gave her my # , she replied ok whats this ? me: its my # call me for drinks!" i then hung up. Bout an hour later she was off work , my phone rang and i had to ditch my bro... she fell for it and we enjoyed tasty vodka red bulls together! whisky d**k sucks ! who knew it would work


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## rjattack19 (Nov 7, 2008)

blow me?...


so im not fly...whatever:laugh:


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## Guest (Jan 13, 2009)

Hey, Im a lawyer
I will get you off


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## Guest (Jan 13, 2009)

you remind me of my 5th girlfriend, and i've only had 4.


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## Guest (Jan 14, 2009)

guy- wanna get a pizza and f**k ?
girl - no
guy- what you dont like pizza?


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## TonySayz (Jan 12, 2009)

I know this is just a for fun thread but if anyone wants to try something that has a shot at working here are some tips I learned in Vegas.

Tip 1: Situational liners are better than generic liners. 

For example, if a girl just bumped into you and apologizes, you could say "That's okay, you would have stopped me dead in my tracks even if you weren't blocking my way."

Tip 2: It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

If you're too serious and tense you fail. If you come off needy and desperate you fail. If you apologize or mumble or speak too softly you fail.

On the opposite end, you also don't want to sound like an ass hole although most people think chicks dig ass holes. You just want to seem like you don't care if she likes you either way. 

Tip 3: Questions are good, but interesting questions are better.

For example, what color do smurfs turn when they choke?

Tip 4: If I had to use a one liner, I would prefer using backhanded compliments. 

Sort of like, "I like your shoes... they look really comfortable" or "Your hands are really soft... kind of like toilet paper" or "Are your nails real? Well, they LOOK good anyways." However, it is very important that you sound like you are sincerely trying to compliment her and not insulting her. The insult was completely unintentional. Try smiling, it helps.

The point is to seem like you aren't hitting on her so she doesn't feel pressured. Giving her a backhanded compliment accomplishes that by making you seem less interested.

In the end, you have to act like you aren't hitting on her which is hard for some guys since they try harder when they fail rather than back off when they should. Good luck out there.


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## baldylox (Dec 27, 2007)

TonySayz said:


> Tip 3: Questions are good, but interesting questions are better.
> 
> For example, what color do smurfs turn when they choke?


That's interesting?? :dunno:


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2009)

Funny thread! This is the best one liner I've heard - but it still didn't work. He pointed at the gigantic moose head hanging on the wall and asks "So how fast do you think he was going when he hit that wall?" 
I swear, I still laugh when I see that moose head! :laugh:


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## TonySayz (Jan 12, 2009)

Snowstar said:


> Funny thread! This is the best one liner I've heard - but it still didn't work. He pointed at the gigantic moose head hanging on the wall and asks "So how fast do you think he was going when he hit that wall?"
> I swear, I still laugh when I see that moose head! :laugh:


That's a pro for you. Taking advantage of the atmosphere and situation. A+


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## TonySayz (Jan 12, 2009)

cifex said:


> That's interesting?? :dunno:


Well, maybe interesting was not the right word but I meant something other than Where you from or what do you do for a living or something people hear all the time and are tired of answering. Anyways, it's besides the point. You aren't going to dazzle someone with one line. It's just a way to get her to talk to you for more than five seconds so you can have a chance at following up with a real conversation instead of being immediately dismissed. Obviously, this can only be done with open ended questions that don't have yes or no answers. You had to stop and think for a moment after the smurf question instead of giving off a pre-programmed answer and that's all you're really looking for.


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## Guest (Jan 15, 2009)

kyouness said:


> you remind me of my 5th girlfriend, and i've only had 4.


i like that one :d


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## digitaltree515 (Jan 6, 2009)

You're pretty when I'm drunk!


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## Dawg Catcher (Jan 5, 2009)

the one that i found works gaurenteed every single time.


Do you wanna go fuck right now im my truck?


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## Guest (Jan 17, 2009)

just start singing:

you are my sunshine , my only sunshine , you make me happy when skyes are grey...

it works every time


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## Guest (Jan 17, 2009)

I'm going boarding today & i'm definitley going to try some haha.



Will be back with results late tonight or tommorow morning!


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## Guest (Jan 18, 2009)

tipsyfry said:


> I'm going boarding today & i'm definitley going to try some haha.
> 
> 
> 
> Will be back with results late tonight or tommorow morning!


No luck, absolutely no luck at all boys. :thumbsdown:


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## Guest (Jan 19, 2009)

hey, here's a great idea... if you want to talk to a girl you dont know, all you have to say is "hey, what's up." when a guy says that to me, i react a lot differently than if he says "hey, i just saw a wanted poster of you in my pants." lol


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## Guest (Jan 19, 2009)

just point to your pants and say 13 inch's, it works every time.lol:laugh:


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## Type.O (Jan 15, 2009)

falconis said:


> just start singing:
> 
> you are my sunshine , my only sunshine , you make me happy when skyes are grey...
> 
> it works every time


If a guy is sitting next to me on a lift and starts singing this to me, talk about awkward lol. Hopefully, it will be followed by, haha just kidding, hey, whats up, my name is blah blah blah. 



iheartboarding said:


> hey, here's a great idea... if you want to talk to a girl you dont know, all you have to say is "hey, what's up." when a guy says that to me, i react a lot differently than if he says "hey, i just saw a wanted poster of you in my pants." lol


Agreed.


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## Guest (Jan 20, 2009)

"Does this rag smell like chloroform?"

Works every time.


----------



## rjattack19 (Nov 7, 2008)

Chiffonade said:


> "Does this rag smell like chloroform?"
> 
> Works every time.


ROFL!!!! lol best one i have ever heard!


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## Guest (Jan 20, 2009)

Chiffonade said:


> "Does this rag smell like chloroform?"
> 
> Works every time.


aaaahhhh classic....

....this works sometimes:

Hi, my friends over there, don't look , bet me 50$ I couldn't start a conversation with the hottest girl in here.... 

...let's have some drinks with their money, ok?

.........


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## Guest (Jan 21, 2009)

On a serious note whenever i'm feeling frisky i'll always do a..

"Hey ladies whatsup, i'm alex!"

And I usually get a..

1 - "What?!?"
2 - "Oh well will you teach my friend how to snowboard? She's single"

Then I cruise away and give up for the night haha.


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## Guest (Feb 5, 2009)

Hahahahah these are funny.


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## Guest (Feb 5, 2009)

lowpro35 said:


> I may not be a genie but I can make your dreams come true.
> Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?


HAHAHAHA holy shit thats great


----------



## FoShizzle (Nov 6, 2008)

Did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
If you were words on a page, you'd be what they call fine print
somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
You must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
You're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
Can I have directions? "To where?" To your heart.
Do you have a map? cuz im lost in your eyes.
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

:laugh: During lunch time, my friends and I usually just chill and say these types of jokes. These are the only ones i can remember at the moment.


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## VTRider159 (Jan 27, 2009)

Hello, I noticed you on the lift line before, you look like the daughter of the woman on my Burton love board, would you like to ride me like a rail?


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## Guest (Feb 6, 2009)

I think the direct approach is still best. The only problem with doing it while you're riding - you can't really see the person's face fully (goggles, beanie/helmet, etc).


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## Guest (Feb 6, 2009)

iheartboarding said:


> hey, here's a great idea... if you want to talk to a girl you dont know, all you have to say is "hey, what's up." when a guy says that to me, i react a lot differently than if he says "hey, i just saw a wanted poster of you in my pants." lol


Maybe on girls your age.


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## Guest (Feb 6, 2009)

pyro13g said:


> Maybe on girls your age.


i think it is on any ages , mayby some of them will laugh but most won't


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## tomtom88 (Nov 13, 2008)

My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. 

Oh, you are? 

It must be an hour fast!


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## VenomousSVT (Feb 17, 2009)

i think its crazy how chicks go for the rude and crude approach... the wildest line i have ever used (and only did it on a dare) that has worked on more than a couple occasions was..

"hey girl, when you gonna give me that p***y? Dont look at me like that, I KNOW you got it on you. I seen you walk over here with it!"


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## Guest (Feb 21, 2009)

Have i seen you around here before? out of a magazine?...


----------



## MunkySpunk (Jan 7, 2009)

"Hey, is that Brad Pitt over there?"

-Slip roofies into drink-

"Oh.. my mistake."




Works every time.


----------



## Guest (Aug 14, 2009)

my personal favorite for when youre at a bar thats just hot as hell...

"damn, im sweatin like michael vick at petsmart!"


----------



## Guest (Aug 14, 2009)

If she's an Eagles fan maybe...


----------



## Guest (Aug 14, 2009)

kang. said:


> *put up index finger and gesture to come over here*
> *she walks over*
> "I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with two."
> QUOTE]
> ...


----------



## Method (Apr 3, 2009)

You sure infamous? cause I always tell women "Nice legs what time do they open?" and it always works for me. That and I just stand somewhere and they flock to me. The pickins be boomin.


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## Guest (Aug 14, 2009)

Yea Im sure Method...but then again, my line only works for the ladies that respect themselves. The spread your legs line...that works for the type of girls that I wouldn't wanna bring home if I was you


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## Method (Apr 3, 2009)

It depends on how frisky they can get in the sack. But if it's this chick than yes I'm not bringing her home! YouTube - Blowjob Girl


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## Guest (Aug 15, 2009)

Guys need to pay attention to the subtle signals girls send. Seriously, if you look carefully you can tell whether she wants you to make a move or not. If it seems like she does, figure out a way to strike up a conversation. Ask for the time, or if you're taking public transportation together, ask her for directions. If she's interested, she will continue the conversation.


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## Guest (Aug 15, 2009)

An aussie to a french chick,

Aussie: Hey babe, how'd you like an Aussie kiss?
Frenchy: Hmm what is that?
Aussie: It's just like a french kiss...just down under


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## JohnnyBlaze (Dec 1, 2008)

all these things are fine and dandy, but I've found it's just a numbers game, talk to 2 girls in one night you have 2 chances talk to 30 you have thirty chances....

So, this is what has worked for me: "I'm (insert ur name here), I'm gonna save you the bullshit, i'm in the mood to have a really good time 2night and I'm sure you want to as well..what do you think of this place?"

this way if she likes the place u don't cock block urself and try to get her outta there...in that case stick around drink w/ her and she will leave w/ u ne way 

if she says it's ok....make a suggestion.........it has worked 70% of the time..and if it doesn't, like I said earlier..who cares?!?! move on to the next one...I mean ur goal after all is to take a girl home and in reality the chances of bagging the first girl you talk to are slim to none

Edit:: here is a line "I told my friend over there that there is something about you...I need your help proving it  "


----------



## Guest (Aug 26, 2009)

do you have a mirror in your pocket cause i can see myself in your pants.


----------



## Guest (Aug 26, 2009)

you've got 163 bones in your body. Want one more?


----------



## Guest (Aug 26, 2009)

if i flip a coin whats the chances of me getting some head?


----------



## Patrollerer (Jun 6, 2009)

Gotta love hitting on chicks with bfs :laugh:.


----------



## Guest (Aug 26, 2009)

Patrollerer said:


> Gotta love hitting on chicks with bfs :laugh:.


as long as their not there it don't matter


----------



## Mr. Right (Sep 27, 2007)

Dont be fooled. they can find you.... :cheeky4: it can be a hand full.


----------



## Guest (Aug 26, 2009)

thats why you have a few mates watching your back from around the party or where ever just in case


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## Guest (Aug 30, 2009)

I feel there is no point in using one liners to girls because it really doesnt work. If they have to understand they would do at the first meeting if not then they would never understand, so keep away with one liners. Thanks


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## Ruskiski (Sep 18, 2009)

I don't use one liners to pick up chicks, rather for my own personal amusement;

"Hey, you look like my future ex."

"I'm for hire tonight, go on, spoil yourself."

"Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before? "

"Here's my number and a Long Island, call me when you've finished it."

or

"I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good."

"If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?"

Hand her a piece of paper "Here's my name, you'll be screaming it later."


But _once_ in a _while_ when I'm feeling adventurous I'll pull these out;

"When was the last time you went out to dinner and had an intelligent conversation?" it's a little dangerous because if they say not too long ago, you're fucked.

"When was the last time someone took you out and tried to get to know you?" I think this one is pretty bulletproof, but I've been wrong before.

"Do I know you? (No.) That's a shame, I'd sure like to." Short and semi-effective.

BTW - the one with the moose had me on the floor. Gold!


----------



## gidget_man (Apr 4, 2009)

I don't use pick up lines, I use 2 by 4's.


----------



## Guest (Oct 13, 2009)

Ruskiski said:


> I don't use one liners to pick up chicks, rather for my own personal amusement;


exactly, pulling out lame one liners is awsome when you're drunk, if you're actually serious about getting a girls attention a simple complement or something is usually good


----------



## Guest (Oct 13, 2009)

dude: Did you just fart?
Girl: 
dude: Cause you just blew me away
girl: 
dude: :cheeky4:


----------



## Guest (Oct 15, 2009)

This thread is fun of epic win

one liners are hilarious and definately a conversation starter. I'm a smartass so they actually appeal to me. odd.


----------



## Guest (Oct 15, 2009)

Are you a TI-83 calculator? Because I'd really like to put my natural log in you.

Works on all the math teachers.


----------



## Muusers (Sep 28, 2009)

Ugh, you smell! Wanna take a shower?


----------



## Guest (Oct 15, 2009)

citizengirl said:


> This thread is fun of epic win
> 
> one liners are hilarious and definately a conversation starter. I'm a smartass so they actually appeal to me. odd.


Same for me- some what.

I'm too much of a goof ball to take pick up lines seriously so they usually just serve as conversation starters. Plus, if a guy is good looking and can shred decently well, the first thing that comes out of his mouth is more or less overlooked.


----------



## JohnnyBlaze (Dec 1, 2008)

Score I'm in!!!! How is that for a conversation starter :laugh:


----------



## Cr0_Reps_Smit (Jun 27, 2009)

dasenergi said:


> Same for me- some what.
> 
> I'm too much of a goof ball to take pick up lines seriously so they usually just serve as conversation starters. Plus, if a guy is good looking and can shred decently well, the first thing that comes out of his mouth is more or less overlooked.


hi, my names shaun white.


----------



## Guest (Oct 16, 2009)

Cr0_Reps_Smit said:


> hi, my names shaun white.


And you've waiting this long to introduce yourself? Jeeze boy, betta step up yo' game


----------



## Guest (Oct 20, 2009)

you like rouphie coladas?, "how bout we get some pizza and fuck?" "whats wrong with pizza?", or just straight up... hey you wanan fuck?


----------



## Muusers (Sep 28, 2009)

dasenergi said:


> And you've waiting this long to introduce yourself? Jeeze boy, betta step up yo' game












:laugh:


----------



## lupine (Sep 16, 2009)

How about these?

Grab a bar towel, get it wet and walk up to a girl. Hold it to her face and ask, "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?"

or,

"Your daddy must be a chicken farmer, 'cause you sure know how to raise a cock!"


----------



## CaptT (Sep 23, 2009)

citizengirl said:


> This thread is fun of epic win
> 
> one liners are hilarious and definately a conversation starter. I'm a smartass so they actually appeal to me. odd.





dasenergi said:


> Same for me- some what.
> 
> I'm too much of a goof ball to take pick up lines seriously so they usually just serve as conversation starters. Plus, if a guy is good looking and can shred decently well, the first thing that comes out of his mouth is more or less overlooked.


Agreed ladies, the cheesier the better. *Bonus points for originality that does not refer to your junk*


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## Guest (Oct 21, 2009)

CaptTenielle said:


> Agreed ladies, the cheesier the better. *Bonus points for originality that does not refer to your junk*


I only glanced over this and read something about "Ladies, the cheesier the junk, the better." :doubletake:


----------



## Guest (Oct 22, 2009)

sweeney017 said:


> AWESOME!!!! hahahahahaha :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
> 
> did it hurt? ..... When you fell from heaven?
> 
> yeah one liners are only good to break the ice and make the girl laugh...


Best Ice Breaker ever:

Me: So,how much does a penguin weigh?

her: huh? how much?

Me: Just enough to break the ice.

her: hahaha! so you wanna F**k?

alright everything was right exept for her last line. Still a success!


----------



## ComicStix (Oct 9, 2009)

Take it from a real life woman:


MAKE IT CREATIVE AND PLEASE DON'T REFER TO SEXUAL INNUENDO. IT'S NOT COOL! I'M NOT SERIOUS AT ALL SO LIKE SOMEONE SAID BEFORE I WILL MORE OR LESS OVERLOOK THE LAST FACT.

/CAPS

Jeez are there any other women on this forum? two; five?


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## Guest (Oct 22, 2009)

Remember, fellas. Real life women dig ALL CAPS. So if you're going to say something to them, remember to SAY SOMETHING TO THEM.


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## Thadwood (Dec 13, 2008)

ComicStix said:


> Take it from a real life woman


What's the other kind of woman?:dunno:


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## Guest (Oct 22, 2009)

Thadwood said:


> What's the other kind of woman?:dunno:


Hey baby.


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## Thadwood (Dec 13, 2008)

jotate said:


> Hey baby.


What's up, sugar ti--... point taken.


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## SPAZ (May 2, 2009)

i was joking with my friend today and he freaked out when we saw cream cheese on the table. a girl was walking by.

"can i read your palm?"
"uh, sure."
i take her hand.
"i predict your going to give...
A HAND JOB!"
and i slammed her hand in the cream cheese.
classic.


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## Guest (Oct 22, 2009)

SnowboardSpaz said:


> i was joking with my friend today and he freaked out when we saw cream cheese on the table. a girl was walking by.
> 
> "can i read your palm?"
> "uh, sure."
> ...


i don't get it


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## JohnnyBlaze (Dec 1, 2008)

wait isn't comicstix under 18, no offense but that wouldn't constitute a real life woman. I'm just sayin'


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## Cr0_Reps_Smit (Jun 27, 2009)

SnowboardSpaz said:


> i was joking with my friend today and he freaked out when we saw cream cheese on the table. a girl was walking by.
> 
> "can i read your palm?"
> "uh, sure."
> ...


that just sounds like you're an asshole whos not getting laid until after you graduate college.


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## cstrumol (Sep 28, 2009)

shooter26 said:


> Best Ice Breaker ever:
> 
> Me: So,how much does a penguin weigh?
> 
> ...



still laughing and will be using one day :laugh: I hope i get the same response


----------



## ComicStix (Oct 9, 2009)

JohnnyBlaze said:


> wait isn't comicstix under 18, no offense but that wouldn't constitute a real life woman. I'm just sayin'


Let me refrase "Female" tastes don't change that much. And once you go through puberty ure basically done right?


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## SPAZ (May 2, 2009)

Cr0_Reps_Smit said:


> that just sounds like you're an asshole whos not getting laid until after you graduate college.


im actually anti-asshole. shes our friend so its not like i did it to a random girl. as for the part about me getting laid after college... 

i also got detention for a few days now because a teacher caught me and my friend making a similar joke today :laugh:


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## Guest (Oct 23, 2009)

ComicStix said:


> Let me refrase "Female" tastes don't change that much. And once you go through puberty ure basically done right?


I beggg to differ. Female tastes differ vastly from one individual to the next 
As for being 'done'.. Maybe its just me, but I have no idea what there is to be finished. Is this a race? A competitive game of monopoly? I want innnnn!

On a more serious note, your body can go through puberty but it never really stops growing on a cellular level. For arguments sake, lets say youre right, your body stops growing after puberty. When it comes to mentality and maturity however, you're constantly expanding and growing, at least I should hope.


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## Vlaze (Nov 12, 2008)

Of course female tastes changes varies and changes all the while. Why do you think the old saying is "Women, they never know what they want"


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## cstrumol (Sep 28, 2009)

Why is it that Canadian girls are soo much cooler that those from the states? I swear it 85% of the reason why I go there every winter.... maybe this shoul be another thread? lol 

to stay on topic, a line used last year we were up there by my friend:
friend- Are you from the states? (She clearly wasn't) 
girl- no, why do you ask?
friend- just making sure you didn't know my repuatation... 
girl- and whats that?
friend- 40 minutes of bs came out of his mouth (apparently interesting enough that we saw the girl the next morning lol)


----------



## JohnnyBlaze (Dec 1, 2008)

ComicStix said:


> Let me refrase "Female" tastes don't change that much. And once you go through puberty ure basically done right?





dasenergi said:


> I beggg to differ. Female tastes differ vastly from one individual to the next
> As for being 'done'.. Maybe its just me, but I have no idea what there is to be finished. Is this a race? A competitive game of monopoly? I want innnnn!
> 
> On a more serious note, your body can go through puberty but it never really stops growing on a cellular level. For arguments sake, lets say youre right, your body stops growing after puberty. When it comes to mentality and maturity however, you're constantly expanding and growing, at least I should hope.


LOL, well puberty has nothing to do with tastes lmao...............ur never done!! Your experiences will dictate your tastes and tolerances in life in anything not only being a female

I can almost garauntee the type of guys (or girls whatever works) you are attracted to now, by the time you are 25 you will prob be sick of them :laugh:


----------



## CaptT (Sep 23, 2009)

JohnnyBlaze said:


> LOL, well puberty has nothing to do with tastes lmao...............ur never done!! Your experiences will dictate your tastes and tolerances in life in anything not only being a female
> 
> I can almost garauntee the type of guys (or girls whatever works) you are attracted to now, by the time you are 25 you will prob be sick of them :laugh:


Nope....that happens when you marry them.....then you say WTF was I thinking....

Watch your wedding video backwards. You'll love the bit where you take the ring off, go back down the aisle, jump in the car and fuck off with your friends!

or my personal fav....

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?


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## JohnnyBlaze (Dec 1, 2008)

:laugh: lmao :laugh:


----------



## Vlaze (Nov 12, 2008)

CaptTenielle said:


> You'll love the bit where you take the ring off, go back down the aisle, *jump in the car and fuck off with your friends!*


No comment..


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## Cr0_Reps_Smit (Jun 27, 2009)

im using this pick up line next time im out.

YTMND - Legendary Pick-up Line - Stallone's Ultimatum (Refresh)


----------



## Guest (Oct 26, 2009)

Was out with some friends, and one of them had her pocket mirror out checking something. I had noticed a girl glancing over from time to time in my direction, so I took my friends mirror, and walked over to her.

"Hey, so I couldn't help but notice a beautiful girl looking at me, and I was just wondering if you knew her name. She's standing right behind you." As I was saying this, I was holding the mirror behind her.

Worked well enough to see her a few times.


----------



## AWNOW (Sep 12, 2009)

You guys hatin one one liners don't really know how to use them. You have to use the clever ones that are cute. Not the ones that involve words such as "cock", "fuck" or "pussy". You also have to act like you know this is cheesey as hell. Anyone who uses a pick up line with the intention of it actually being that fanfuckingtastic is an idiot. Drop it, smile/laugh and make your way back to your friends or the bar; pussy doesn't belong on a pedestal.


----------



## Guest (Oct 31, 2009)

Me: "Hey, are you going to the barbeque later?"
Her: "What bbq?"
Me: "The one where i slap my meat on yo GRILL!"

....think about it. (I say this while winking and waving my tongue back and fourth) 

rule #1: treat them like dirt and they'll stick to you like mud.


----------



## Guest (Oct 31, 2009)

Cr0_Reps_Smit said:


> im using this pick up line next time im out.
> 
> YTMND - Legendary Pick-up Line - Stallone's Ultimatum (Refresh)


hahahahahaha props!!!!


----------



## RiceyHot (Nov 1, 2009)

Is your dad a terrorist? -Cuz girl, you da BOMB!


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## RiceyHot (Nov 1, 2009)

dr.glove said:


> Me: "Hey, are you going to the barbeque later?"
> Her: "What bbq?"
> Me: "The one where i slap my meat on yo GRILL!"
> 
> ...



This has got to be _*THE*_ funniest shit I have read on the internet in awhile.
I'm using this on the next female I see. :laugh:


----------



## CaptT (Sep 23, 2009)

Hey honey....want to Wake then bake...then wake'n'bake.....

said it on an earlier post and really...those would be magic words for me!


----------



## VenomousSVT (Feb 17, 2009)

CaptTenielle said:


> Hey honey....want to Wake then bake...then wake'n'bake.....
> 
> said it on an earlier post and really...those would be magic words for me!


i dont get it


----------



## Guest (Nov 6, 2009)

*funny, and somewhat complimentary*

"are those astronaut pants?"
"no, why?"
"because your ass is out of this world."

usually cracks a smile


----------



## CaptT (Sep 23, 2009)

I wakeboard too.....so I hope that helps!


----------



## Guest (Nov 6, 2009)

yeah, me either. help us out???


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## JohnnyBlaze (Dec 1, 2008)

:laugh: wake like wakes behind a boat and bake as in put it in the oven :laugh:


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## CaptT (Sep 23, 2009)

Holy shnikies.....

O.k. not only do I wakeboard but I also would move to Breck due to the new laws passed......

So translation:
want to wakeboard and smoke a bowl then wake up next to me and smoke a bowl.......

my goodness you two just took the fun outta that one...


----------



## Frankhead (Mar 15, 2009)

do you work at Subway? because you just gave me a footlong.


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## Guest (Nov 7, 2009)

The best pick up line....


"Hi...I snowboard."


----------



## JohnnyBlaze (Dec 1, 2008)

NyInfamous'Girl said:


> The best pick up line....
> 
> 
> "Hi...I snowboard."



You're so right!! it really is. When I meet girls and they ask me what I do, I don't tell them Financial Advisor, or Stockbroker, I just say

"I'm a Snowboarder" with a shit eating grin on my face

Almost every response is "Really?!?! no way!!" 

and the rest of the story ends the next morning :laugh:


----------



## Guest (Nov 9, 2009)

JohnnyBlaze said:


> You're so right!! it really is. When I meet girls and they ask me what I do, I don't tell them Financial Advisor, or Stockbroker, I just say
> 
> "I'm a Snowboarder" with a shit eating grin on my face
> 
> ...


next mornings are great for introducing yourself..
dont forget "i give great birthday sex!"


----------



## wrathfuldeity (Oct 5, 2007)

JohnnyBlaze said:


> You're so right!! it really is. When I meet girls and they ask me what I do, I don't tell them Financial Advisor, or Stockbroker, I just say
> 
> "I'm a Snowboarder" with a shit eating grin on my face
> 
> ...


doesn't work when she rides better than you and most of your buds...at least around these parts...maybe if you got a sled for bc


----------



## Guest (Nov 17, 2009)

This one works EVERY time. 

"You ready for this pick up line? Ok here it goes...How much does a Polar Bear weight? Enough to Break the ice... Hi my name is Tyler." 

It has never failed me. Make sure you say even the "You ready for this pick up line"


----------



## Guest (Nov 28, 2009)

for girl with BF

(get her to say "I have a boyfriend")

you: well i have 2 goldfish

her: what????

you: oh, well I thought we were talking about things that didnt matter

**im not saying its good to hit on girls with BF's

but that ones funny


----------



## JohnnyBlaze (Dec 1, 2008)

jeepster95 said:


> for girl with BF
> 
> (get her to say "I have a boyfriend")
> 
> ...


:laugh: I like that, and you can hit on girls with b/f's b/c you know what she told you she has a b/f but if she is still talking to you and hasn't left. she just opened the door, just don't trip on the way in


Here is one I've been seeing huge success w/:

Me: Ok, just for the record I don't have sex on the first date, so I wanted to put that out there.

Her: ???What?

Me: I'm serious!! Everytime all these girls do is fuck/suck me, and then that's all they wanna do, gets boring after a while.

Her: Waiit...so if I wanted to fuck the shit out of you, you would say no.

Me: Look, if I did that w/ every girl I hang out with it would be DISGUSTING..think about that!!!

Her: wow, that's hot


----------



## cstrumol (Sep 28, 2009)

I think I'd get to line 3 and get the quick turn around as I walk away with my head down lol


----------



## Pudg3 (Feb 20, 2009)

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?

I can't peanut butter my d*** up your ass.

Hilarious one that I don't plan to use. Just for a good laugh


----------



## SPAZ (May 2, 2009)

hahaha. pudge i have to remember that :laugh:


----------



## Guest (Dec 9, 2009)

Relyt23 said:


> This one works EVERY time.
> 
> "You ready for this pick up line? Ok here it goes...How much does a Polar Bear weight? Enough to Break the ice... Hi my name is Tyler."
> 
> It has never failed me. Make sure you say even the "You ready for this pick up line"




This is definately my favorite one to use too


----------



## Guest (Dec 14, 2009)

nice shoes wanna f*ck


----------



## Dano (Sep 16, 2009)

"you're a little ugly but I still kind of find you intriguing. My name's Dan, how do you like my shoes?" The only way it works is if you're coy and smiling


----------



## Guest (Dec 14, 2009)

Dano said:


> "you're a little ugly but I still kind of find you intriguing. My name's Dan, how do you like my shoes?" The only way it works is if you're coy and smiling


that one is gonna get you hit.


you: wanna go back to my place for pizza and sex?
her: no
you: what you don't like pizza?:dunno:

:laugh::laugh:


----------



## drunkinmonk (Nov 2, 2009)

"Your place or Mine?"
If you lucky she picks one of them if your not she says Neither.
Then you say "oh I get it your one of them kinky dirty girls that like to do it in the bathroom or (where ever your at)." "I'm down with that too."


----------



## Guest (Dec 15, 2009)

"Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I'm asking for only one"
"I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?"
"You want me. I can smell it."
"Can I have your picture? [Why?] So I can show santa what I want for christmas!"
"Hi, who's your friend?"

I dont use pick up lines but some of my friends do, and the only time i use pick up lines is when i wanna make the girl laugh as a joke. More fun than picking up a girl for the night is getting your friends hella embrassed, i find it funny to pick on my shy friends. I got a couple who cant talk to girls even if they wanted to so i help them out. Maybe not in the best way possible but its still funny and by the end of the night they're having a good time. Tip if your shy get out there and talk,talk and talk. That way you get more confident and in the end its Confidence that gets the girl imo. Confident guys walk different, stand different, and look at girls differently. The girls in this forum can attest to that, Confident guy who uses same pick up line as non-confident guy is much more likely to keep the conversation going without the girl just dissing him right then and there haha

Thats my .02 but what do i know im married


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## Guest (Dec 19, 2009)

(on the chair lift) "This is going to take forever... Wanna make out?"

"Damn those bindings are sexy! (response) I was talking about your thong."

"I'll show you how to press. (response) Okay take off your clothes."

"Nice boots wanna fuck with them on?"


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## InfiniteEclipse (Jan 2, 2009)

"hey....... I'm Batman"


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## NHrider (Nov 12, 2009)

MunkySpunk said:


> "Hey, is that Brad Pitt over there?"
> 
> -Slip roofies into drink-
> 
> ...


outstanding



Patrollerer said:


> Gotta love hitting on chicks with bfs :laugh:.


thats the best just to see him get all bent out of shape

a few of my favs. are
Jay and S.Bob "hey baby, ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat"

I used to beat off to woman who look like you while I was in prison

while out riding if the time came up where you see a woman getting her board off of her roof rack just yell..."nice rack"

one night my buddy was cocked at the bar and we bought him drinks for everytime he tried a one liner we told him
-Hey baby wanna fuck
-today I'm herpes free
-he says"can I buy you a drink"
she say "no thanks"
he says " no trust me, I'll get better looking"
-your so hot I'll eat the corn out of your shit
these were just a few of many


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## Guest (Jan 27, 2010)

You look like my next girlfriend


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## Guest (Jan 27, 2010)

POOF! (What are u doing?) I'm here, where are your other two wishes?

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

I wish you were DSL so I could get high-speed access. 

If you were a booger I'd pick you first.


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## PeterG (Jan 20, 2010)

If I jump on your back would you beat me off?


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## Guest (Jan 27, 2010)

PeterG said:


> If I jump on your back would you beat me off?


HAHAHAHA! Thats amazing


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## Guest (Feb 10, 2010)

I got a good 1.

Walk over to a girl in a bar (This line is to be used only if she has a boyfriend that is not around, or around, but small)

You: Hey girl, what's up? Can I buy you a drink?
Her: I have a boyfriend...
You: Well I have a goldfish.
Her: What?
You: Ohh, I'm sorry, I thought we were talking about shit that doesn't matter....



OR



Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?


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## crazyface (Mar 1, 2008)

"you know im really wired. what do you say i take you home and eat your pussy."

YouTube - Shark Attack 3 - That Famous Line


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## Guest (Feb 23, 2010)

while fighting Wolverine, one of chuck norris' testicles got chopped off and flew into space. we know it today as jupiter. (not technically a one liner. sorry!)
________________
corporate gifts | promotional clothing | Promotional Products


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## Guest (Feb 23, 2010)

If you were a car, I’d wax you and ride you all over town.


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## krazykunuck (Feb 18, 2010)

i can make car sounds does that count?


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## Guest (Feb 23, 2010)

krazykunuck said:


> i can make car sounds does that count?


Hhahahaaa.
You always have something funny to say! You crazy ass. :laugh:


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## Guest (Feb 23, 2010)

Lets play house you be the screen door and I'll bang you all night.


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## Guest (Mar 17, 2010)

*One liners*



T.J. said:


> "i want to make a mess in your mouth" work every time for me.



Man, what movie is that from?


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## Dano (Sep 16, 2009)

This face is leaving in 5 minutes, you better be on it


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## YouDork (Feb 12, 2010)

Trueper said:


> Man, what movie is that from?


"I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell"? :dunno: 
(Didn't see the movie, heard it was horrible)

BUT my media frenzy coworkers used to quote his douche-baggery , luckily they've moved onto better sexual references such as, "that's what she said." Phew.


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## YouDork (Feb 12, 2010)

KrazyHok said:


> "You want me. I can smell it."


I'd probably think you were a weirdo for saying that, but it made me laugh:laugh:


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## Jud_X (Mar 9, 2010)

Guy:Hey you wanna play army

Girl:How do you play

Guy: I give you the full salute and you blow the hell outta me


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## clubmyke (Jan 21, 2010)

one liners dont work. there is a lot more involved with it - such as eye contact and body language.


if a chick wants to talk with you - she will let you know. you have to pay attention to the smallest details. 

how you hold yourself, come across, and how you say it FAR more important that what you say.


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## InfiniteEclipse (Jan 2, 2009)

Do you believe in love at first sight.............or should i walk by again?


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## cv_fan (Feb 15, 2010)

Are you Karl Marx? 'Cause I feel an uprising in my lower class.

For the intelligent ones, of course.


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## Deviant (Dec 22, 2009)

cv_fan said:


> Are you Karl Marx? 'Cause I feel an uprising in my lower class.
> 
> For the intelligent ones, of course.


I seriously lol'd at that.

For you new yorkers, there's always the good..

Aye Bay B!


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## tooscoops (Aug 17, 2007)

i only have an average wang... but i have a 12 inch tongue and can breathe through my ears...

or if she seems the type who needs the larger... member....

hey, i found out how to make my cock 9 inches!... fold it in half.


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## Leo (Nov 24, 2009)

I came from the future to meet you sooner because in the future we make babies.

Other than that, I just grab their ass and say Hello :thumbsup:


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## tooscoops (Aug 17, 2007)

high five! ya like me?

that seems to work well... obviously, you have to be doing the high five motion as approaching...

if it doesn't go well... then just mutter something about for a fat chick she has small tits... then when she gets angry, say "i thought you people were supposed to be jolly?"


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## Guest (Apr 1, 2010)

Are your parents retarded? because you're special


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## Cavman (Mar 1, 2010)

You want to take me home and ride me like a pony?


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## Cavman (Mar 1, 2010)

Whats the differnece between women and spaghetti?
.
.
.
.
Nothing!.... They both wriggle when you eat them!!


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## Guest (May 23, 2010)

Pudg3 said:


> What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
> 
> I can't peanut butter my d*** up your ass.
> 
> Hilarious one that I don't plan to use. Just for a good laugh


I just blew budlight out my nose and on my keyboard, fucking hilarious!!!


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## yusoweird (Apr 6, 2009)

Pudg3 said:


> What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
> 
> I can't peanut butter my d*** up your ass.
> 
> Hilarious one that I don't plan to use. Just for a good laugh


I dont know dude. If you use it on the wrong chick. she will reply. "But if you jam, you can still get peanut butter"


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## Guest (May 27, 2010)

Slaughterhouse said:


> I'd love to spray acid on your face so you will be with me forever and ever.


Just.. The stupidity of that one, is what made me laugh


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## AlexS (Feb 12, 2010)

Don't do some cheeseball line. Do something to make the girl laugh. Both ways the odds are against you haha


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## Muki (Feb 8, 2010)

So I had an ex-friend hit on my ex once before we dated with the line if his dick got bit by a snake, would she suck it to get the venom out..wow.. :laugh:


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## Guest (Jun 7, 2010)

She'd Say Yeah untill green spew went all over her face


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## Hoons (Dec 21, 2009)

Muki said:


> So I had an ex-friend hit on my ex once before we dated with the line if his dick got bit by a snake, would she suck it to get the venom out..wow.. :laugh:


good one... I'll remember that one LOL


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## McLovin' (Mar 30, 2010)

Pudg3 said:


> What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
> 
> I can't peanut butter my d*** up your ass.
> 
> Hilarious one that I don't plan to use. Just for a good laugh


LOL! Thats a classic man, wont forget that one!


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## Guest (Jun 15, 2010)

So not a one liner - but you fellas can give this a go next time:

My ex told me about how one of he and one of his buddies went to the bar one night. The friend bought this girl a drink and she didn't say thank you, talk to him, nothing. Total snob. She takes the drink and goes back to her table of friends. She gets up to go to the bathroom. The friend goes over to the table of girls, downs the drink, and walks away.

Love it. For better results, go straight over and take it from the girl and drink it in front of her.


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## Beatlesfan888 (Jul 8, 2010)

I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you.
greatest movie of all time


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## facedancer (Sep 3, 2010)

"i want to make a mess in your mouth" work every time for me. Me too！


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## loren646 (Dec 9, 2009)

Dude: Hey you want to dance?
Girl: uhh no. 
Dude: No, no, no, I think you misheard me I said you like fat in those pants.


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## SPAZ (May 2, 2009)

cv_fan said:


> Are you Karl Marx? 'Cause I feel an uprising in my lower class.
> 
> For the intelligent ones, of course.


hahahahahahahahah:laugh:


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## Xelorz (Nov 4, 2010)

I was in an odd/good mood one night at a house party and used something along the lines of:

Breaking dancing polar bear!
What?
I just wanted to say something to break the ice.

She chuckled and rolled her eyes. I got laid after convincing her I'm not a d-bag and a bit of conversation.
In college a friend and I made picking-up in a sort of game with varying rules. It was alot of fun, miss it much.


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## svwannabe (Dec 24, 2009)

Dude: He baby wanna go play lion tamer?

Girl: Lion tamer?

Dude: Thats where i feed you the meat and you roar like a lion


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## garlicbread (Oct 23, 2010)

get in the van bitch!


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## Xelorz (Nov 4, 2010)

garlicbread said:


> get in the van bitch!


SURPRISE! Butt Sex!


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## loren646 (Dec 9, 2009)

garlicbread said:


> get in the van bitch!


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## thtrussiankid01 (Aug 31, 2010)

my favs

go up to a girl:"Hey you wanna come back to my place, get a pizza, then have sex"
girl slaps you across the face
you:"What you dont like pizza!"

Thats a nice dress/outfit, you know where it would look better, crumpled up on my bedroom floor
you get slapped "WHAT, all im saying is that your dress would look good as a carpet"


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## loren646 (Dec 9, 2009)

thtrussiankid01 said:


> my favs
> 
> go up to a girl:"Hey you wanna come back to my place, get a pizza, then have sex"
> girl slaps you across the face
> ...


there's a better version of the first one my buddy started....

guy: "hey you wanna come back to my place, get a pizza, and then fuck?"
girl: *startled look* 
guy: "no i'm just kidding. we'll have chinese food instead."


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## sleev-les (Feb 26, 2010)

"I'm gay... I'll bet you can make me straight" lol.... and, yes, its worked before.. Sometimes I get told to f**k off though lol..


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## JohnnyBlaze (Dec 1, 2008)

Are you free tonight? Or is this going to cost me?


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## svwannabe (Dec 24, 2009)

Hey baby, you working or you walking??


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## Donutz (May 12, 2010)

JohnnyBlaze said:


> Are you free tonight? Or is this going to cost me?


I predict a lot of POW in your future. And not the good kind.


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## SPAZ (May 2, 2009)

Use that on the snow bunnies hahaha


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