# Snowboard Poetry Contest



## wrathfuldeity (Oct 5, 2007)

Being the Resident Poet and instead of just giving away or selling a slightly used board; I’ve decided lets have some fun and do a little poetry contest to get some pre-season stoke going and to support getting another gal or grom on the hill. The winner will receive Option 145cm cambered board with sm/med Option bindings…I believe it maybe a women’s or grom board, idk model but cap construction and made in Austria, used but very little wear and will be personally tuned and waxed by yours truly. It’s a good beginner or intermediate cambered board and bindings…and I'll try to throw in some other swagish. Sorry guys, you can still write a poem and dedicate it to your beloved and if the winner, give the board to your gf, wife, sister, daughter or Mom…or even ride it. The contestants need not be a continental US resident *BUT I will only ship, at my expense, to a continental US address…No AK or HI …no exceptions.*

Rules: 
1. To this thread, submit an original poem about snowboarding in any style or meter by mid-nite October 15, 2013.

2.	You can submit more than one poem, but submit each poem in a separate post.

3.	For the rest of you critics, hecklers and mal-contents…your valued(?) opinions are to be at least highly entertaining…*but don’t get yourself banned.* 

4. On October 16, 2013, I will select (perhaps with input from killclimbz and donutz) and announce the winner and runner-up alternate on this thread (and will pm the winner).

5. The winner must reply to my pm by no later than midnight October 20, 2013. If the winner does not respond by midnight October 20, 2013; the winner forfeits and then the “runner-up alternate” will be contacted. I will ship out the board and bindings asap. (only to continental US address…No AK or HI).

Alright, sharpen yo wits and get your pencil...Go!


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## chomps1211 (Mar 30, 2011)

First,.. Awesome Idea! Second, this is in NO way being submitted for the contest. Especially since the only girl I've gone boarding with is at this very moment, on a plane, moving to Germany! (...Yes yes! I'm even driving them out of the country!  )

This verse is not mine, can't even remember where I first read it, but it has stuck with me and I thought it might be a fun start to this, so here goes!


"Now I lay me down to bed. 
I pray the Lord for POW to shred!

...and if it's Deep when I awake,
Epic Lines I Vow to take!!!!"

. Hopefully subsequent submissions will be more eloquent, artistic and less "Limericky" than mine!


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## Deviant (Dec 22, 2009)

Wrote this on facebook last year, can't remember if I ever posted in here but anyways:

..Today while I stepped out for a smoke at work, I felt the cool breeze in the air. Thoughts of swaying gently on the chairlift with Jameson in my blood and Pretty Lights in my ears while someone I don't know tries to tell me their life story. Images of dozens of ski-club kids scorpioning themselves violently in the snow below me, and some parent is guiding their child into the park with a harness leash...

..Alas, winter is close.


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## mojo maestro (Jan 6, 2009)

Winter is coming, sleepless anticipation, snowboarding is fun


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## BigmountainVMD (Oct 9, 2011)

mojo maestro said:


> Winter is coming, sleepless anticipation, snowboarding is fun


A haiku for the snow gods if I've ever seen one.


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## ShredLife (Feb 6, 2010)

skeet, skeet - i spray white

my morning wood from powder

i am rooster king.


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## chomps1211 (Mar 30, 2011)

Let me take a shot at something original and less limerick like;



Ceaselessly I Dream of an endless White Room,
Windowless, cold, enveloping, eternal!
A prison of subdued ephemeral light, 
utterly without hue. * 
Yet never once do I feel Imprisoned, for it is here, 
and here alone, where I am truly Free!


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## Donutz (May 12, 2010)

Don't think I'm eligible anyway, and this is more of a song than a poem, but it's snowboarding related.

And I figure if I lower the bar enough, people won't feel as reluctant. :laugh:

I wrote this song for my wife over the course of my Whistler vacation last year, sung to the tune of "Rawhide":

Waiting, waiting, waiting,
Though the light's abating,
Keep the hubby waiting,
my bride!

Through makeup, prep and dressing,
with my mind she's messing,
Wishing that she would move her ass.
All the things I'm missing,
To be up there I'm wishing,
Instead, I'm waiting for my bride.

Move your ass, get it done,
Put it on, leave it here,
You look fine, check the time,
my bride,
It's ok, you're not fat,
That'll do, just wear that,
Let's go now, get some pow,
my bride.


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## mojo maestro (Jan 6, 2009)

Trying to find flow, cannot keep the lighter lit, must stop in the trees


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## BigAL (Feb 19, 2013)

Snowflakes are freedom and life falling from the sky. Unique like you and I. Beauty and freeze floating through the breeze. As we gaze to their eternal dance in spell that only summers heat could free, we think and breathe. As we wait patiently for the first sign of winter.


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## BigmountainVMD (Oct 9, 2011)

I went to the mountain to get some pow
I climbed up top, wiped the sweat from my brow
No snow on the ground and I don't know how
So I smoked a fat joint and I floated on down

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I went to the mountain to find some snow
Didn't show up to work, but my boss didn't know
There was too much slush so my board was slow
And it's not cold enough for them guns to blow

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I went to the mountain to find some white
It was so damn cold, nose got frostbite
Some waist deep snow is a human right
But with that wind chill my balls pulled tight

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I went to the mountain, so snow-y
Laid down a sick carve, saw a snow bunn-y
I said "Hey pretty lady wanna ride with me?"
So she grabbed me by the hand and she pulled me in the trees...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh....


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## BlueOtter10 (Sep 21, 2013)

*The Flake*

A lone snowflake drifts its way down among its brethren.
Chilled to the core, yet surrounded on all sides by familiar warmth.
Entwined among each pattern is the innate desire to land among men.
For it is in their midst that magic takes a breath.
Snow so white it glows blue. A hue not even rays of gold can subdue.
Drawn to this majestic canvas, trimmed with green, the path carved by the boarder's heart is seen.
Oh, behold this season where nature and man form a mutual pact.
Take hold of your gear and spark the ignition, it is sin to hold back!
A lone figure, blended as one with the mountain's silence, glides on fields of white and past rivers of cedar as a solitary snowflake, unnoticed, yet surely there, comes to its final rest on a welcoming shoulder.


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## IdahoFreshies (Jul 9, 2011)

Roses are red
violets are blue
In the winter, the above are dead
and if you get in my way to the hill ill kick you in the head


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## poutanen (Dec 22, 2011)

White snow is falling,
My heart flutters with delight,
Nirvana is near.

Don't take this as an entry, because I think this should go to a newb.

I just wanted to write a snowboarding Haiku! :yahoo:


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## Donutz (May 12, 2010)

Wait, not ONE limerick so far? What the hell's wrong with you people?


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## ShredLife (Feb 6, 2010)

Donutz said:


> Wait, not ONE limerick so far? What the hell's wrong with you people?


there once was a dude who did shred,

on mountains and peaks he would tread.

he rode all the POW,

there's no more left now,

cuz he rode till the day he was dead.


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## poutanen (Dec 22, 2011)

ShredLife said:


> there once was a dude who did shred,
> 
> on mountains and peaks he would tread.
> 
> ...


:eusa_clap:


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## BigmountainVMD (Oct 9, 2011)

There once was a tourist from Texas
Who drove to CO in his Lexus
He skied in his jeans
They tore at the seams
So he sat in the lodge and ate breakfast.


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## snowklinger (Aug 30, 2011)

BigmountainVMD said:


> There once was a tourist from Texas
> Who drove to CO in his Lexus
> He skied in his jeans
> They tore at the seams
> So he sat in the lodge and ate breakfast.


excellent. :thumbsup:


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## snowklinger (Aug 30, 2011)

This poem is called "Get the fuck out of the way!"

I'm going snowboarding.
Get the fuck out of the way!


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## wrathfuldeity (Oct 5, 2007)

Of course this does not count...but

Newbs and nobs
Went to the hill fo chill
Cold smoke to toke
Snorkel and float
Get out of the way, said the Avenger.

Meat missiles with bright avy whistles
Unicorns nods fuck to the masses
Blowing rainbows out of their asses
Gnargoyles and gnarfairies
Get out of the way, said the Avenger.

Lodge bunnies with pink furry hats
Rail rats rock crocked yellow caps
Blood is flown 
The sphincter is blown
Get out of the way, said the Avenger.


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## chomps1211 (Mar 30, 2011)

^ :eusa_clap:  ^


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## wrathfuldeity (Oct 5, 2007)

bumpity, bumpity, bump
humpity, humpity, hump
dumpity, dumpity, dump

:dunno: 15 days left


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## mojo maestro (Jan 6, 2009)

There once was a snowboarder from Nantuckit.......he thought fer sure he could huck it.......landed on his head........and now he's dead........ probably should've been wearing a bucket


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## IdahoFreshies (Jul 9, 2011)

mojo maestro said:


> There once was a snowboarder from Nantuckit.......he thought fer sure he could huck it.......landed on his head........and now he's dead........ probably should've been wearing a bucket


not bad!:eusa_clap:


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## wrathfuldeity (Oct 5, 2007)

just a few days left


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## Argo (Feb 25, 2010)

mojo maestro said:


> There once was a snowboarder from Nantuckit.......he thought fer sure he could huck it.......landed on his head........and now he's dead........ probably should've been wearing a bucket


Awesome:eusa_clap:


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## Argo (Feb 25, 2010)

BigmountainVMD said:


> There once was a tourist from Texas
> Who drove to CO in his Lexus
> He skied in his jeans
> They tore at the seams
> So he sat in the lodge and ate breakfast.


Another win:eusa_clap:


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## Lagomorphic (Jan 9, 2013)

There once was a snowboarding forum
That didn’t have much need for decorum
With trolls and taunts
And then yoga pants
And they wonder why girls don’t join ‘em

:laugh:


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## Donutz (May 12, 2010)

"taunts" rhymes with "paunts" , er, "pants"? You talk funny in Ohio!


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## mojo maestro (Jan 6, 2009)

There was a backcountry rider named Jack.......who would snowshoe up the skin track....... a "crew" saw him do it........so they slid down to it.........now both of Jack's eyes are black


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## SnowOwl (Jun 11, 2012)

I just finished my first painting! It was of Bear Lake in Big Bear, CA. Should make a "user created art" section that relates to snowboarding/mountains :thumbsup:


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## wrathfuldeity (Oct 5, 2007)

Just a few hours left...midnight PNW time.


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## chomps1211 (Mar 30, 2011)

The Sixth Sense for snowboarders,...

Icy Shred People!!!!




[edit]
...more Pun than poem!


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## BigmountainVMD (Oct 9, 2011)

Cold Breeze. Snow twists and coils. Reaching.
Heavy heated breaths escape. The climb cannot capture the ascension.
Thin trails of smoke leave lips lingering. Wanting.
Tongue tastes feathering flakes. A mountains whisper.
Wide eyes, shielded from glare. Comfort. Peace.
A moment of calm. Cheeks cupped with solar warmth.
Pleasantly exposed. Exquisitely primed.
I am humbled.
I am happy.
I am home.
I am.
I am.
I am at the top.


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## neni (Dec 24, 2012)

No hustle no noise
Just me and the buddies
Silently moving in meditative steps
Calm

The gust of my breath
The smell of the cold
Reflections of light tickle my senses
Beauty 

No duty no deadline
Just us and the mountain
Enemy and friend at the same time
Aware

Which line is joy 
Which one is safe
Movements and thoughts fully assembled 
Focused

Artificial demands 
left down in the valley
Purity enwrapped in one single color 
Liberated


(BTW: not submitted for the contest, but the thread should stay alive; just to animate other to join).


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## poutanen (Dec 22, 2011)

neni said:


> (BTW: not submitted for the contest, but the thread should stay alive; just to animate other to join).


That's just beautiful!


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## wrathfuldeity (Oct 5, 2007)

BlueOtter10 said:


> A lone snowflake drifts its way down among its brethren.
> Chilled to the core, yet surrounded on all sides by familiar warmth.
> Entwined among each pattern is the innate desire to land among men.
> For it is in their midst that magic takes a breath.
> ...





Lagomorphic said:


> There once was a snowboarding forum
> That didn’t have much need for decorum
> With trolls and taunts
> And then yoga pants
> ...


...And the Winner is BlueOtter10 check your PM

Runner-up/Alternate is Lagomorphic
Congratulations and thanks for submitting.



For the rest of the forum malcontents...thanks for the colorful submissions.


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## Lagomorphic (Jan 9, 2013)

Haha, but taunts doesn't rhyme with pants! 



Donutz said:


> "taunts" rhymes with "paunts" , er, "pants"? You talk funny in Ohio!


Congrats Blue Otter, nice work.


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## snowklinger (Aug 30, 2011)

:eusa_clap::eusa_clap::eusa_clap:


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## BlueOtter10 (Sep 21, 2013)

Thanks so much! Everyone had awesome stuff! Props to Wrath for hosting this creative thread! :bowdown:


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## neni (Dec 24, 2012)

:wavetowel2:ccasion14::eusa_clap:k:


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## BigmountainVMD (Oct 9, 2011)

ccasion14:


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## wrathfuldeity (Oct 5, 2007)

Otter...

board is on the way...

world needs more snowflakes


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## BlueOtter10 (Sep 21, 2013)

:thumbsup: TY! lol Yes, that's one thing it definitely needs more of :laugh:


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## chomps1211 (Mar 30, 2011)

:thumbsup: Congrat's! :thumbsup:


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## mojo maestro (Jan 6, 2009)

Congrat's to Otter......thanks to Wrath for passin' on the stoke!


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